tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64402360627610772672024-03-04T21:24:00.962-08:00Salt and JuniperA Michelle Wilson blogMichelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-84780668854612138682022-03-18T08:41:00.002-07:002022-03-18T08:41:44.514-07:00Important people. Important things.<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjMTbnaEjG8xEW9E1yjDgkVGZrg_YANW4XcHShMqJWjWgeOPnWTmPP-WX1uHHv5IE_vtrw300hsJ7JJiRMIbYU0AvuyMSn54r8eXl38vUjOHLgMNZKV8lxHJrhH8l5Epq3OFmYgDyU7yLiLsnujt4hHsSV5UErR6OtQG-GAWLkM-qM2SPRJSc2Xsrxu2g=s1080" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjMTbnaEjG8xEW9E1yjDgkVGZrg_YANW4XcHShMqJWjWgeOPnWTmPP-WX1uHHv5IE_vtrw300hsJ7JJiRMIbYU0AvuyMSn54r8eXl38vUjOHLgMNZKV8lxHJrhH8l5Epq3OFmYgDyU7yLiLsnujt4hHsSV5UErR6OtQG-GAWLkM-qM2SPRJSc2Xsrxu2g=s320" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="8ng5o-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="8ng5o-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="8ng5o-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">"And when they drew night unto Jerusalem ... then sent Jesus two disciples" (to get an ass for Him to ride on) <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/matt/21?lang=eng">(See Matthew 21:1,2,4,5)</a></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="a85dg-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="a85dg-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="a85dg-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="39cpk-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="39cpk-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="39cpk-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">I love the principles behind these verses: meekness, humility, and prophecy fulfilled. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="7cjd5-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7cjd5-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="7cjd5-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="k5hk-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="k5hk-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="k5hk-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">But what I REALLY LOVE about these verses is how they showcase this very important truth: </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="6vffu-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6vffu-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="6vffu-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="3v5oa-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3v5oa-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="3v5oa-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">You don't have to be "important" to do important things.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="6o58o-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6o58o-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="6o58o-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="860p5-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="860p5-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="860p5-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">The donkey was a fulfillment of a prophecy that would be read by billions of people. It was important, vital, that it happened. And yet, Jesus asked two nameless disciples to get it. Not Peter or James or John. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="2a4rj-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2a4rj-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="2a4rj-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="68hv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="68hv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="68hv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">But two of His followers that weren't even named.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="114ta-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="114ta-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="114ta-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="6tkoo-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6tkoo-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="6tkoo-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">I think we often feel unimportant. Maybe we aren't popular or have a "notable" calling or job. Maybe we wonder if we have any value or if anyone sees us, even God. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="7palk-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7palk-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="7palk-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="fa8pp-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fa8pp-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="fa8pp-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">But, these verses tell us we matter. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="gmm7-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="gmm7-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="gmm7-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="dr3om-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dr3om-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="dr3om-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">Regardless of how we are seen or how we feel. God and Jesus know who we are and can use us for Their purposes (which are always important) because of exactly who we are right now.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="ajtug-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ajtug-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="ajtug-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2nvvr" data-offset-key="bgj5h-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bgj5h-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="bgj5h-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">I Love this! Though we may not feel important, we are all important to Him. Always.</span></div></div></div><p><br /> </p>Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-52073332408829470252022-03-10T19:35:00.001-08:002022-03-10T19:35:03.012-08:00Peter and Me.Oh man, it's been a hot minute since I've been here. One of the hazards of writing books is that they can take all the writing out of you. But, I'm in between projects and glad to be back!<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I've been thinking a lot about Peter this week. Like many of you, I LOVE the show <a href="https://watch.angelstudios.com/thechosen">THE CHOSEN.</a> I adore how it portrays the humanity of Jesus, but also the messiness of His followers. Peter is one of my favorites. He's passionate and impulsive. I can relate. </div><div><br /></div><div>I found the relationship, albeit someone embellished on the show, between Mattew and Peter fascinating. So opposite, and yet, so alike. </div><div><br /></div><div>I studied a handful of chapters this week in the New Testament, specifically, Matthew 14-18, Mark 6-9, Luke 9, and John 6-10.</div><div><br /></div><div>I love getting to know the apostles through what they saw and chose to share. It made me smile that Matthew talks specifically about Peter at least six times in his chapters. The others, collectively, only mention Peter a few times. It seems that there was, truly, something about Peter that Matthew took note of. Literally.</div><div><br /></div><div>Perhaps it was Matthew's love of documenting the fruition of prophecies. Or maybe he just liked to point out how many mistakes Peter made. I mean, Peter doubted (14:28-31), he was reprimanded when he didn't understand a parable (15:20), and he rebuked Jesus and was rebuked in return (16:21-28).</div><div><br /></div><div>Peter sure was a rough stone.</div><div><br /></div><div>I love that about him. It wasn't the finished edges that impressed the Lord. In fact, perhaps Peter didn't impress Jesus at all. But, Jesus must have seen something in Peter beneath the jagged edges and cracks. It must have been that passion that caused him so much trouble.</div><div><br /></div><div>It wasn't just Peter's potential that the Lord loved and saw. It was the fire that was already inside Peter. This is what I believe. </div><div><br /></div><div>Peter wanted so badly to do what's right. <i>Tell me to walk on water. I'll go with you to the Garden. I'll never deny who I know you are.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>And yet, Peter sank. Peter slept. And Peter denied.</div><div><br /></div><div>Still, the Lord chose Peter to lead His Church after His ascension. To lead the people then and to lead us today.</div><div><br /></div><div>For all of His faults and foibles, Peter's heart was open, his mind was willing, and his eyes were searching, always searching. Peter was all in. Perhaps too much in (thought the guard who momentarily ost an ear, perhaps).</div><div><br /></div><div>Peter gave Jesus his heart. And Jesus took it, and everything else that came with it.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's kind of the deal. I take all of Jesus, and He takes all of me.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm so grateful I believe this. Because I can be a lot. I am overzealous and people-pleasing. I struggle with so many things. But, I know I want to be with Jesus. Peter said, "Lord, it is good for [me] to be here" (17:9). </div><div><br /></div><div>I can't agree more.</div><div><br /></div><div>Peter and Me. We have a lot in common. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm so grateful for Peter. He has taught me so much. I love that Jesus is patient with us, that He teaches us. That He doesn't discard us when we are "all in."</div><div><br /></div><div>I love that Jesus loves my effort, as overzealous and messy it is at times and can help me shape my enthusiasm into sometimes truly powerful for Him.</div><div><br /></div><div>I love that He takes me, rough edges and all, and loves me enough to smooth them out.</div><div><br /></div><div>And I love that I do not have a person watching the entire thing and recording it for millions to read. :)</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-39278563215916366382021-05-30T23:26:00.004-07:002021-05-30T23:26:47.399-07:00Return to Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVjcn5FTBk57cwDl924dwlXFcj4rvoPKlz3hLXI5QHLIXhDgMiCtjg22v-NsUarq_EqdPR6SVXpAnHigFcY7lFLwU-8YnOLOwxgVEclC9yim0x7Lb7rPVCV38lcQ5dn3ppxaFfjkpeDjtJ/s600/ReturntoMe-Still2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVjcn5FTBk57cwDl924dwlXFcj4rvoPKlz3hLXI5QHLIXhDgMiCtjg22v-NsUarq_EqdPR6SVXpAnHigFcY7lFLwU-8YnOLOwxgVEclC9yim0x7Lb7rPVCV38lcQ5dn3ppxaFfjkpeDjtJ/w400-h200/ReturntoMe-Still2.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><p><i>Return to me</i> is in my top ten favorite movies of all time.</p><p>It's sweet, it's tender, and it's so SO good.</p><p>The premise is simple: a man, Bob, who fiercely loves his wife loses her in a fatal car accident.</p><p>In the long wake of her death, he has no interest in finding love again, despite the enthusiastic efforts of his misguided friend.</p><p>That is, until one night, while on yet another date his friend had set up him with, Bob meets Grace, the sweet yet feisty waitress.</p><p><br /></p><p>Immediately there's a connection there on both sides that seems unexplainable.</p><p>They begin to date and fall for each other in the most darling way possible. All is going well, so well. Until . . .</p><p>Grace finds a note in Bob's apartment, a letter he'd received from the anonymous woman who had been the recipient of Bob's deceased wife's heart. It was from Grace.</p><p>The two must come to terms with the heart that's in Grace and what it means to both of them, how it pulled them together.</p><p>As Bob tries to wrap his brain around the situation, Grace's grandpa (played brilliantly by Caroll O'Connor) says:</p><p>"I know that what's happened has been overwhelming. And I know it's going to take a while to sort it all out. But while you're sorting, I want you to remember that all the times I prayed that Gracie would have a second chance at life, I always knew that if God blessed us, the heart she got would have to be from a very special person, if it were going to be at home in Grace. When she met you, her heart beat truly for the first time. Perhaps it was meant to be with you always."</p><p><br /></p><p>Grab. The. Kleenex.</p><p><br /></p><p>I love the idea that one heart longs to be with another. </p><p>That one heart calls to another.</p><p>That one heart truly beats when it's reunited with another.</p><p>In my scripture study this morning, I came across a plea from the Savior:</p><p><i><b><span style="font-size: medium;">"Will ye not now return unto me. . . that I may heal you?"</span></b> (3 Nephi 9:13)</i></p><p>Then, just a few moments later He tells us what He desires: our hearts. (v 20)</p><p>I love the visual that formed in my mind as I read this, one of Jesus calling to me, wanting my heart to be with His.</p><p>When I have heed His call and returned to Him, I feel my heart beating harder, with more purpose, stronger, and more joyful.</p><p>The words of Grace's grandpa, with some minor adjustments, play in my mind:</p><p>"Michelle, I know that what's happened in your life has been overwhelming. And I know it's going to take a while to sort it all out. But, while you're sorting, I want you to remembet that all the times I prayed you'd have a second chance at life, I always know that if God blessed you, your peace would have to be from a very special person, if it were going to be at home in you. When you met the Savior, your heart beat truly for the first time. Perhaps it was meant to be with Him always."</p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgT5g9rrgIJMM6RJtqONyILUqv24A0dqz3MEgOeeas9GVDkrB941285ctGXLrvWkE9gU6nZiaN9foIeJesnjtXq0VQCI1x81MH8m8QUXTUpN8jbE5LU9jTfahNogslZX4DFGMIrJ013Xx1/s1280/You+are+mine.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgT5g9rrgIJMM6RJtqONyILUqv24A0dqz3MEgOeeas9GVDkrB941285ctGXLrvWkE9gU6nZiaN9foIeJesnjtXq0VQCI1x81MH8m8QUXTUpN8jbE5LU9jTfahNogslZX4DFGMIrJ013Xx1/s320/You+are+mine.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p>Becasue of Jesus, we have a new chance at life. </p><p>Our hearts truly beat when we allow Him love us, to teach us, to forgive us, to embrace us.</p><p>This is how I feel about my Savior. That is continually beckoning me - us - to return to Him.</p><p>It is where our hearts can truly beat for the first time, again and again and again.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-53553554299126819452020-10-07T16:46:00.004-07:002020-10-07T16:46:38.509-07:00Getting "UNdiscouraged": 6 things you can do when discouragement hits<p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2763074100613029" target="_blank">Check out my Hi Five Live video this was based on HERE!!</a></p><p><br /></p><p><b>************************</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>Discouragement comes to all of us.</b></p><p>I know I've had my share over the past year. </p><p>Most of the discouragement has come from not-so-good things. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaUCad8Xuz3cp7EbXNhdaKsdPvdkF878vFkb9U9jLDtZp4dcQ4wSC6Gwfu9ebSCiXQY6Y_OrvyUPVORZBRofs0BAg79FrLlHjoc6cJw535jwl_OFu_1FxQWooqrv5nCfiqcyqOhDyYSewH/s292/Pulled+tooth.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="188" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaUCad8Xuz3cp7EbXNhdaKsdPvdkF878vFkb9U9jLDtZp4dcQ4wSC6Gwfu9ebSCiXQY6Y_OrvyUPVORZBRofs0BAg79FrLlHjoc6cJw535jwl_OFu_1FxQWooqrv5nCfiqcyqOhDyYSewH/w115-h179/Pulled+tooth.png" width="115" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Like getting a cracked tooth pulled and having my face swell up.<p></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikEbhuFhDddK-UU8cZT-NkRj_bsMwBNk4c3zR4ep_KUR_AtMSf47ceAwsAb54R1PAxtzCcA2eUNIXXD1CV-X9xaZDcd9mwv07-NjSJGBYCDdzyhAUHJfMZ1GAMWuAmPVgPZeeOgsr0-HT0/s287/Screen+Shot+2020-10-06+at+10.56.46+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="287" data-original-width="170" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikEbhuFhDddK-UU8cZT-NkRj_bsMwBNk4c3zR4ep_KUR_AtMSf47ceAwsAb54R1PAxtzCcA2eUNIXXD1CV-X9xaZDcd9mwv07-NjSJGBYCDdzyhAUHJfMZ1GAMWuAmPVgPZeeOgsr0-HT0/w96-h163/Screen+Shot+2020-10-06+at+10.56.46+PM.png" width="96" /></a></div><p></p><p><br /><br />And then a week later getting bitten by a cat I was trying to save, getting an infection, and spending a few days in the hospital fighting it.<br /><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Some discouragement comes from good things too. In December I was called as an early morning seminary teacher. It was wonderful but challenging.</p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgICXW2WxYvMJxrHqjQVFmi1O5n08AHA4yATXvhEhkBoDsqMWqo922_k1p4uhyphenhyphen8IXe7nLaZWPENztjDS5-S66CeJSJ6HRrpI-3YQGXkIE5auU8-q4wAY_v-55YuQp41vFRThLbHKYBoH4eH/s206/Mom%2527s+hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="205" data-original-width="206" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgICXW2WxYvMJxrHqjQVFmi1O5n08AHA4yATXvhEhkBoDsqMWqo922_k1p4uhyphenhyphen8IXe7nLaZWPENztjDS5-S66CeJSJ6HRrpI-3YQGXkIE5auU8-q4wAY_v-55YuQp41vFRThLbHKYBoH4eH/w172-h171/Mom%2527s+hand.jpg" width="172" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p><br /></p><p>Then my mom got sick this spring and passed away this summer.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Oh yes, and we can't forget the Covid-19 world-wide pandemic and riots and the election year.</p><p>It's safe to say this has been a trying 11 months for me.</p><p>Discouragement has become an unwanted friend of mine.</p><p>But, I've learned a few things that have helped me when it comes, a few things that I've learned that help me become "undiscouraged." And, assuming you're human and you experience discouragement too, I thought I'd share.</p><p><br /></p><p><b>#1 </b><u style="font-weight: bold;">Take care of yourself</u></p><p>Often times when I'm discouraged it's because my bucket is dry--I am totally worn out. Sometimes it's due to my choices. I often put the needs of others first and forget my own. I will also eat things that aren't the best, stay up too late, or waste time during the day then berate myself for it. </p><p>Other times I don't have a choice because circumstances demand my attention, energy, and efforts at a pace I can't keep up with.</p><p>Regardless of the why, when I neglect myself, discouragement easily follows.</p><p>Yet, it's hard to stop and give myself what I need.</p><p>This is why I love the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19. It's where I get the "juniper" name in my blog from.</p><p>See, Elijah was a powerful prophet. He showed up on the scene, sealed the heavens, performed miracles, had the sealing power (the last one to hold the sealing keys before Jesus Christ came), and made royalty really mad. In fact, they wanted to kill him.</p><p>So he ran an entire day for his life. He wore himself out. That night he laid under a juniper tree and "requested for himself that he might die; and said,<a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/ot/1-kgs/19.11-12?lang=eng#p11#11" target="_blank"> It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life.</a></p><p>That's some deep, deep discouragement.</p><p>He falls asleep, presumably hoping to not wake up. An angel woke him up. He didn't lecture him, give him advice, power, or even a pep talk. He simply said, "Arise and eat." Then he showed Elijah a cake that was baking on the fire. Read that again: THE ANGEL MADE ELIJAH A CAKE!!! Cake is LITERALLY Heaven's answer to feeling bad.</p><p>Elijah ate the cake (like a good man) and drank some water, then went back to sleep. The angel came to him a second time and said, "Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee." </p><p>Elijah had a long way to go and the angel knew (which means God knew) that what he needed to feel better and accomplish his tasks was to take care of himself. </p><p>This is not a singular event. When Alma met Amulek, he tarried at his house and rested before going back out to preach. The Lord let Lehi and his family rest in Bountiful for years before they continued their journey. </p><p>Taking care of ourselves is not only important and even necessary, but it is divinely suggested and condoned.</p><p>I find that when I'm feeling discouraged, I can often become undiscouraged by doing something that fills my bucket. It's usually something like taking a nap, resting better at night, eating healthier, getting outside, reading my scriptures, serving someone else, writing for fun, and yes, totally eating cake. Especially free cake. And especially angel cake. (Come on, I couldn't pass that up.)</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><b>#2 <u>Release emotions</u></b></p><p>My mom had a few strokes and heart "episodes" in May, so when things took a turn for the worse in July, we knew we weren't going to have her much longer.</p><p>I flew down to California to be with her. She passed away five days later. Those five days were hard. Covid restrictions kept us from her until she moved into the ICU. Then, after an initial wave of small groups saying goodbye, we weren't allowed to be with her until they moved her downstairs to comfort/hospice care. And even then it was only one visitor at a time.</p><p>Mom rallied those first few days. I said a final heartwrenching goodbye, then she'd improve. Then she'd decline and I'd go and say goodbye again. After the third "final goodbye" the disappointment and grief had nearly consumed me.</p><p>I had kept everything in as I was one of the supports for my dad and my brothers. I wanted to be strong. So, I pushed it all down. Until my discouragement grew too large.</p><p>In this instant, cake wouldn't help. Heaven knew I'd been eating a steady diet of cookies for days.</p><p>What I needed was to release the emotions.</p><p>After a family meeting where my dad discussed the next steps, I ducked out of the house, got in my rental car, and drove to an empty parking lot. And I cried. I screamed. I hit the steering wheel. I let it all out for over an hour.</p><p>Then the tears dried up and I felt a sense of strength and peace return.</p><p>I went home to my dad. Not more than five minutes later we got the call that it was time again to say goodbye. I was able to be there in the background as my nieces and nephews said goodbye to their grandma. And because I'd released that emotion--not the sorrow or grief, but the weight and force of the emotion I'd kept inside--I was able to lovingly smile and support them in those very tender and hard moments.</p><p>Then, the next night, I said my final final goodbye. And she was gone, off to a family reunion of epic proportion.</p><p>Sometimes our emotions can build up and we become human pressure cookers and we need to release the pressure before we explode.</p><p>That might come in tears and screams, hitting inanimate objects, running hard, writing it out, or spilling your guts to a friend. Whatever works, do it. Because it does work, and you'll feel better.</p><p> </p><p><b>#3 <u>Remind yourself what you know</u></b></p><p>Discouragement is a suffocater. It takes hold of what we know, squeezes it, and pushes it aside to make room for all the things that make us sad, tired, and afraid.</p><p>It also loves to feed lies. Maybe we aren't worthy of happiness or love. Things will never work out. I won't ever get head. If God loved me, He wouldn't let me hurt this way or allow this to happen to me. Life is fair for everyone else, but mt.</p><p>When discouragement comes, it will do us good to remind us what we know.</p><p>I love the example of this in the Book of Mormon. The prophet Nephi had seen and done amazing things, and yet, he experienced discouragement too. In fact, he recorded on such time in 2 Nephi chapter 4.</p><p>He <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4?lang=eng" target="_blank">laments</a>: "Why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken because of my afflictions? And why should I yield to sin because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations? Why am I angry because of my enemy?"</p><p>That is some major discouragement there.</p><p>But I love what he does next. He doesn't allow himself to stay there. He doesn't feed those thoughts. "Awake my soul!" he says. Basically, snap out of it!</p><p>Then he reminds himself of what he knows is true: Lord, I have trusted you, and I will forever. I know that you give to your children, and you will give good things to me.</p><p>When discouragement starts discoloring the good things in your life or feeding you lies, stop and remind yourself what you know. </p><p><i>God is real. </i></p><p><i>He loves you. </i></p><p><i>He is with you. </i></p><p><i>This will pass, and if it doesn't He will help you. </i></p><p><i>The Atonement is real and can work in your life. </i></p><p><i>Things WILL get better.</i></p><p><i>You will smile again.</i></p><p><br /></p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">#4 <u>Keep discouragement with its owner</u></span></h3><div>I have a friend with a bunch of kids. They throw the clean laundry in a pile and the kids pull out their own clothes. Often they will grab a brother's pair of pants or a sister's shorts because it either looks like theirs or happens to be next to what they are grabbing. What ends up happening then is clothes belonging to one person living in the dresser of another--where it doesn't belong.</div><div><br /></div><div>Discouragement loves to spread its wings. When one thing discourages you, it's easy for it to spill into other areas--to go where it doesn't belong.</div><div><br /></div><div>You get a demotion at work and come home to a house that's messy. The disappointment from your work now widens and you're disappointed in your home. Next it might be your family, your appearance, God, or yourself.</div><div><br /></div><div>When you feel discouraged and you see it spreading across your life, take some time to pinpoint where the discouragement started. Then try to compartmentalize it there. Remind yourself that it's okay to be disappointed in one are and happy in others at the same time. :)</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><b>#5 <u>Give it to the Lord so He can give you what you need</u></b></div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes feelings of disappointment can drive us away from God. That is the worst thing we can allow it to do.</div><div><br /></div><div>The Lord loves. He wants to help us, and if we let Him, He will give us the individual care and assistance we need to deal with our disappointment.</div><div><br /></div><div>When Jesus received the news of the death of <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/john/11?lang=eng" target="_blank">His dear friend Lazarus,</a> He traveled to his home and was met with one of Lazarus' sisters, Martha. (as found in John 11)</div><div><br /></div><div>She ran to meet Him saying, "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died."</div><div><br /></div><div>Jesus responded with the assurance that her brother will rise again. Then He spent a few moments teaching Martha of eternal things.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then the other sister, Mary, came to Jesus and greeted Him the same way: "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died."</div><div><br /></div><div>Except, the Savior didn't respond to Mary the same way. As Mary wept, Jesus wept with her.</div><div><br /></div><div>To one sister He gave hope and learning, to other He gave love and empathy.</div><div><br /></div><div>Both sisters were experiencing the same thing--the death of their brother. And yet, both had different needs. And the Savior gave each one what they needed. </div><div><br /></div><div>This is what God and Jesus do--they give us what They know we need. They know us intimately and want to give us hope and learning and love and empathy and companionship and strength and ALLLLL the things we need to deal with or overcome our discouragement. </div><div><br /></div><div>But, as the sister did, we need to bring our sorrow, worry, fears, and frustrations to Them.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, when you're feeling discouragement in all its forms, give it to the Lord, and let Him give you what you need.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><u><br /></u></b></div><div><b>#6 <u>Wait it out in faith</u></b></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes we can do all of the above things and the discouragement is still there. Sometimes immediate relief simply isn't possible. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, what do we do then??</div><div><br /></div><div>We wait in faith.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I love the movie "Cast Away" with Tom Hanks. Hank's character is on a Fed X plan that crashes on a deserted island in the ocean. He's alone for four years, with only a small photo of his fiance and one still-unopened package to deliver to give him hope. Finally, the wind brings him something he can use as a sail, and he's able to get his man-made boat over the currents surrounding the island and floats out to sea where he's picked up and rescued.</div><div><br /></div><div>He returns home to find his fiance married to another man because she thought he had died. The world is different. He is different. </div><div><br /></div><div>As he tries to grapple with the adjustment and diminishing hope, a friend asks Hanks what he will do now.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is his response: </div><div><br /></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;">(on the island) "I had power over nothing* And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?”</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;">Sometimes, when we have to wait for things to get better, to feel better, all we can do is keep breathing. And hold onto the hope that the tide will bring something in.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;">This, to me, is what <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/5?lang=eng" target="_blank">Sariah, Lehi's wife,</a> did in the Book of Mormon.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">She left her extended family, the home she'd created, her friends, and followed her husband, a prophet, into the wilderness. After three weeks of traveling, they stopped to camp, and the Lord sent her sons back to Jerusalem on a dangerous mission.</span></span></div><div><span style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">When they hadn't returned, Sariah began to feel very discouraged. She feared her sons were dead, and (because discouragement doesn't like to be alone) she began to doubt.</span></span></div><div><span style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Lehi did his best to console her. Sariah chose to wait in hope. And her sons did return!</span></span></div><div><span style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">And when they did, her discouragement was replaced with stronger faith and gratitude.</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Still, it must have been hard for her to wait.</div><div><br /></div><div>I know waiting in hope is hard for me.</div><div><br /></div><div>It might be for you.</div><div><br /></div><div>We want to feel better now, for things to get better and. Sometimes they can and do, and sometimes, we simply have to be patient and wait in hope until they do. Keep breathing in and out. Because we never know what the tide will bring in tomorrow.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So, those are six of the things I do to get undiscouraged.</div><div><br /></div><div>What do you do the help you fight discouragement when it comes knocking at your door?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /><p></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-72106512382434381642020-07-26T17:43:00.002-07:002020-07-26T22:26:08.538-07:00We are that we might--hopefully will--have joy<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Mom loved red. She loved polka dots. She also loved having options. So, I bought two dresses for her funeral.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I wore the blue dress with white polka dots at her service.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOQWCQoiIEujU5vU5M88IETElrgaTEtyn1tY7iouu9OaggmWNB-1x2qaoIJmjDRKW0WvqeN1x9XRryaTSB4nBCdq9gK4_-WL9AM_DuMIUydWlfd_zlm_hF2Mdui-r5VofHuBrDaQvbjnPd/s1600/IMG_6335.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="767" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOQWCQoiIEujU5vU5M88IETElrgaTEtyn1tY7iouu9OaggmWNB-1x2qaoIJmjDRKW0WvqeN1x9XRryaTSB4nBCdq9gK4_-WL9AM_DuMIUydWlfd_zlm_hF2Mdui-r5VofHuBrDaQvbjnPd/s320/IMG_6335.jpg" width="312" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">This is the other dress. I am wearing it today, exactly two weeks after the day she passed, and I am smiling.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">My eyes are tired. My heart hurts, but I’m smiling because I know she would have liked it. I’m smiling because I love her.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m smiling because I’m choosing to not let grief make me feel guilty for being happy even if she’s not with me anymore.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">So, today, the red dress is for her. But it’s also for me.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">And it’s for you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I want you to have joy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Guilt is a thief that would rob you do all peace and joy. It would tell you that you should not feel happy when you’re grieving. It would tell you that you should not feel joy when others aren’t.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Its logic is faulty and false. If we wait for conditions in our lives and the lives of others are perfect (whatever that means) to embrace joy, we never would because there will never be a time when everything is right in the world.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s not possible. It’s not meant to be that way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Joy isn’t meant to only come when all the boxes are checked, when there’s nothing to grieve, when all resistance to our expectations is gone.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Joy isn’t a result of our circumstances. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Joy is what helps us through our circumstances.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Joy is a gift from a loving God for us to feel today. Now. Regardless of what our circumstances are.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Men and women are that they might <b>HAVE</b> joy.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>This is what Lehi taught his son in 2 Nephi2:25.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I find it interesting that he says "have joy" not "feel joy."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">To have somethings connotes that joy is something that we can possess, that can be a part of us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">This elevates joy from something external that we feel the effects of, like when we <i>feel</i> the sun on our faces, to something that is internal, a part of us. Something that can always be with us, on sunny or cloudy days.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">A few years ago <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2016/11/sunday-morning-session/joy-and-spiritual-survival?lang=eng">President Nelson spoke of joy</a>. He said, </span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0d0f10;">"My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #0d0f10;">has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #0d0f10;">When the focus of our lives is on God’s plan of salvation . . . and Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives. Joy comes from and because of Him. He is the source of all joy."</span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">My friends, this is so true.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">This is how I can have joy--not just <i>feel</i> joy, but <i>have</i> joy without my mother here. I don't have joy because of her absence, but through my Savior, I can and do have joy in spite of her absence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Whatever you're experiencing in your life right now, whether it's a loss of a loved one, illness, financial struggles, fear in an uncertain world, you can have joy in your life right now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">It's okay to smile with tears in your eyes and an ache in your heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">And it's also okay if you can't smile right now. Smiling and joy are not mutually exclusive. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Today, I'm able to smile. And I am because of Him. I am because of Mom.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">And I am because of me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">We are that we might have joy. And I am claiming mine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Now go and claim yours.</span></div>
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Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-83722855523787079202020-07-12T23:47:00.000-07:002020-07-25T23:49:24.954-07:00<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfjvtZesXGcJ55BAH0MDXUpUW4BJ89uf1-AZNVk3Gt54UCLnKvoPiM4ay-rOYp75k1XKC7eiA5OhQike_p84NLAA6kULpIIVdtxLNb5Qm1nGthE13QLofrBpMBgAoa3JrKcUeZgh9hCGRO/s1600/Mom%2527s+hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="596" data-original-width="600" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfjvtZesXGcJ55BAH0MDXUpUW4BJ89uf1-AZNVk3Gt54UCLnKvoPiM4ay-rOYp75k1XKC7eiA5OhQike_p84NLAA6kULpIIVdtxLNb5Qm1nGthE13QLofrBpMBgAoa3JrKcUeZgh9hCGRO/s320/Mom%2527s+hand.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">This is my mother’s wedding ring. It left her hand twice, maybe three times in the past 53 years. I held the hand that wore this ring just 23 hours ago. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">And now, the ring rests on my hand.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Mom’s been gone less than 12 hours and I miss her deeply. I love having a piece of her with me.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">This ring was on her hand when she brought me into the world. And now, this ring is on my hand when I wipe the tears because she left this world.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I look at this ring and think of the amazing things the hand that held it did, and I want to continue that legacy.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij2JfThWHVBcn_qXo7sInbcfswlFgnSxRFUufeOaB0UxxPVbd_g0cycLeUeT0gnTAhdy-KbZc5NNHAjO1YUFB0iyz2EUNLXi8nv0Ef1xyj38jv3QIJeSRb9UtORJXrNRTVUGQaEdUxeNj6/s1600/My+hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="596" data-original-width="600" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij2JfThWHVBcn_qXo7sInbcfswlFgnSxRFUufeOaB0UxxPVbd_g0cycLeUeT0gnTAhdy-KbZc5NNHAjO1YUFB0iyz2EUNLXi8nv0Ef1xyj38jv3QIJeSRb9UtORJXrNRTVUGQaEdUxeNj6/s320/My+hand.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"></span><br />
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I touch this ring and feel her with me. <br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I’ve heard it said that the amount of grief you feel indicates the amount of love you feel. I loved my mother to my core. And now, grief has found its way there too.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">But there are tender mercies that ease the pain. Tender mercies that make room for hope. Tender mercies that keep me connected to her.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Tonight I am grateful for tender, shiny mercies.</span>Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-90846288976365058762020-03-14T21:44:00.001-07:002020-03-14T21:44:40.253-07:00Faith Starts Today<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">This morning, I was contemplating the crazy and unsettling state of the world when this calendar notification appeared on my phone: “Faith, starts today.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I have <em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">no</em> idea how “faith” got scheduled into my calendar. But, there it was.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I live in Washington state. People in our state and my own county are sick. Our school district is closed. Seminary and Church meetings are canceled. Our temple is closed. People are rushing to stores. No one knows what to expect.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">It’s hard not to get caught up in the craziness of it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">But despite it all, “Faith starts today.” This is a mysterious and sweet reminder for me that faith is needed always. Today. Because I’ll be honest, things are getting kind of scary around here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">In the scriptures we read that “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (<a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/2-tim/1.7?lang=eng#p7" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #954f72;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #00aeef; text-decoration-line: none;">2 Timothy 1:7</span></a>). And the Lord Himself tells us numerous times to not fear but have faith (see <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/john/6?lang=eng" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #954f72;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #00aeef; text-decoration-line: none;">John 6:20</span></a> and <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/68?lang=eng" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #954f72;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #00aeef; text-decoration-line: none;">Doctrine and Covenants 68:6</span></a>).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">But this begs the question: If I am afraid, do I not have faith?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I mean, I’ve heard it said that faith and fear cannot exist at the same time. Yet, I know many faithful people who are nervous, even afraid of what’s happening in their lives. Are faith and fear mutually exclusive? Does this mean those who are afraid don’t have faith at all?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I don’t believe that it does.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Imagine for a moment a completely dark room. Now, imagine a flashlight is turned on in the middle of it, shining one solid beam of light towards the ceiling. Within the beam of light, there is no darkness. It is the one space where light and dark cannot exist at the same time. Light wins.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">But what of the room itself? In the room, there is darkness and light, even if it is dim, from the flashlight beams. At the same time. Does this mean there is no light at all?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">No. It doesn’t.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">In the expanse of our minds and hearts lie imperfections, doubts, and yes, fear. We are children who lack eternal memory and are learning to be gods in a fallen world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">The Lord knew we would have some fear. This is why He so often comforts us. Because He knows that within perfect faith, fear cannot exist, but within our imperfect minds and hearts they can. He wants us to know that simply because we experience fear does not mean we don’t have faith.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Our task at hand—our command from the Lord—then is to replace our fears with faith, one by one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">But how?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">First, we recognize the source of fear. <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1984/10/god-hath-not-given-us-the-spirit-of-fear?lang=eng" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #954f72;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #00aeef; text-decoration-line: none;">President Gordon B. Hinkley</span></a> counseled us to “recognize that fear comes not of God, but rather that this gnawing, destructive element comes from the adversary of truth and righteousness.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Next, we choose where we look. Where we look determines how—and if—we live. The Book of Mormon prophet, Alma, taught his son to “look to God and live” (</span><a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/alma/37.47?lang=eng#p47" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #954f72; font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #00aeef; text-decoration-line: none;">Alma 37:47</span></a><span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">). When we take focus away from God, we distance ourselves from Him. Fear is a faith and soul-killer. This is why President Hinckley said, “Fear is the antithesis of faith. It is corrosive in its effects, even deadly.” Satan wants us to look away from the light and cower in a dark corner of the room. He uses fear to control us, to keep our focus on him away from God. The Savior beckons us to “look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not” (</span><a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/6.34,36-37?lang=eng#p34" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #954f72; font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #00aeef; text-decoration-line: none;">Doctrine and Covenants 6:36</span></a><span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">). He wants us to live in the light faith offers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Lastly, we walk in the faith we’ve chosen, and keep walking. What does this look like today? It is focusing on the covenants we’ve made, saying our personal and family prayers, feasting upon the scriptures through studying the <em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Come, Follow Me</em> curriculum, seeking Priesthood blessings, and more. It is choosing to walk around our fear and follow Him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">We need to stay strong and choose faith again and again, even when the fear creeps back in. In the book of Mark, we find something interesting that’s not recorded anywhere else. Jesus led His disciples into Jerusalem and, “as they followed, they were afraid” (<a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/mark/10.32?lang=eng" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #954f72;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #00aeef; text-decoration-line: none;">Mark 10:32</span></a>). This was after they sat with Him during the Sermon on the Mount, after the Mount of Transfiguration, and after only five verses after the Savior said, “with God all things are possible.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">The beam of faith in their lives was bright, but still, there was fear. And yet, they chose to follow Him, step after step. Their faith, not their fear, led their footsteps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I was talking to someone about fear the other day. I said, “As long as I’m scared in motion, I’ll be okay.” I think a better way to put it is to be faithful in motion. Elder <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2007/10/live-by-faith-and-not-by-fear?lang=eng" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #954f72;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #00aeef; text-decoration-line: none;">Neil A. Anderson</span></a> said it this way: “When we choose to follow Christ in faith rather than choosing another path out of fear, we are blessed with a consequence that is consistent with our choice.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Yes, we do live in perilous times, and we don’t know what lies ahead. We might be afraid, but we can still have faith. We have the power to recognize the source of fear. We have the power to look to the light. And we have the power, with God’s help, to grow our faith through our choices again and again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Droid serif", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">In the face of the unknown, I choose to believe that God is leading us through His prophet right now. I choose to believe that I can have peace in the chaos. I choose to focus on the light and will continue to do so until there’s no more room for darkness. I chose faith yesterday, and according to my calendar, my faith starts again today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-19604387793970922932019-11-23T19:25:00.003-08:002019-11-23T19:26:28.590-08:00The Experience of Gratitude<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Despite what this may seem like, this is actually a happy post. <span class="_5mfr" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0px 1px;"><span class="_6qdm" style="background-image: url("https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t7f/1/16/1f60a.png"); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: contain; color: transparent; display: inline-block; font-family: inherit; height: 16px; text-shadow: none; vertical-align: text-bottom; width: 16px;">😊</span></span></div>
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Not gonna lie. It’s been a rough week but things are looking up.</div>
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<a href="https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p160x160/78264138_1377258255777449_8378907593023684608_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&_nc_ohc=qKRzjkp18QMAQm7X9yL065XaiJ6tz6BU4d8M6O7czFxWS1tZJlBW45AZg&_nc_ht=scontent-sea1-1.xx&oh=b831ced748c83da8cd93a2a198887f70&oe=5E4D6883" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Image may contain: one or more people" border="0" src="https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p160x160/78264138_1377258255777449_8378907593023684608_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&_nc_ohc=qKRzjkp18QMAQm7X9yL065XaiJ6tz6BU4d8M6O7czFxWS1tZJlBW45AZg&_nc_ht=scontent-sea1-1.xx&oh=b831ced748c83da8cd93a2a198887f70&oe=5E4D6883" /></a><a href="https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p160x160/78651121_1377257939110814_704929679462629376_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_ohc=1js4_BiqLlwAQlXcobLG55MbsIVkGp7EArzx325SyGAwBa4lGQFneWRFg&_nc_ht=scontent-sea1-1.xx&oh=b6be347aad71528b8a098f1149cbad02&oe=5E8AD6C6" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Image may contain: Michelle Wilson, closeup" border="0" height="200" src="https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p160x160/78651121_1377257939110814_704929679462629376_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_ohc=1js4_BiqLlwAQlXcobLG55MbsIVkGp7EArzx325SyGAwBa4lGQFneWRFg&_nc_ht=scontent-sea1-1.xx&oh=b6be347aad71528b8a098f1149cbad02&oe=5E8AD6C6" style="background-color: transparent;" width="150" /></a>Last Wednesday I had a cracked tooth extracted after fighting an infection in it for a over a month. There’s still pain and residual swelling (plus stitches). Then, this Wednesday I was bitten by a cat on my hand. It became infected despite the antibiotics I’m on for my tooth. The infection quickly crawled up my arm. I was admitted to the hospital and put on IV antibiotics. The meds were able to get me out of the danger zone, so I was able to come home last night. Yay for me! I’ll continue IV antibiotics as an outpatient until I’m better. So, all is well.</div>
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Still, it’s hard. I still hurt. I’m still a little nervous. I’m still tired physically and emotionally.</div>
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But there is more good here than bad, for which I’m grateful.</div>
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<b>There’s definitely value in feeling gratitude and appreciation.<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: , , , , sans-serif;">But without expressing it someway, </span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">gratitude</span><span style="font-family: , , , , sans-serif;"> seems more of an </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">observation</span><span style="font-family: , , , , sans-serif;"> than an </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">experience</span><span style="font-family: , , , , sans-serif;">.</span></span></b></div>
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For me, the question isn’t whether the cup is half empty or half full. The question is, which flavor of shake is in that cup and where’s my straw because it’s not going to waste.</div>
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In that light, I’m going to express gratitude for just a few of the many good things the past little while.</div>
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I’m so grateful for my family. I’m grateful to live in this time of modern medicine. I’m grateful for good friends. I’m grateful for prayer. I’m grateful my laptop has voice to text so I could still write 2,500 new NaNo words. (not gonna lie, with voice to text and pain killers, about 2000 of those words are nonsensical crap. But they still count.) I’m grateful for pain medicine. I’m (almost) grateful for hospital food. I’m grateful for the wonderful ER nurse that made me feel at ease. I’m grateful for baggy hospital pants and unlimited ice cream. I’m grateful AMC ran an all-day Hunger Games marathon yesterday; It made my problems feel small compared to Catniss, who spent the entire day fighting, crying, pondering, or yelling while somehow maintaining a shallow character arc. I’m grateful for ice packs and chapstick and chocolate. I’m grateful for some quiet time where people brought me food and warm blankets. I’m grateful for an adjustable bed. It was magical. I’m grateful for socks with sticky bottoms. I’m grateful for the sweet music that played in the hallway every time a baby was born; It reminded me of the miracle of life. I’m grateful for people to dedicate their life to helping other people in the medical field.</div>
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And most of all, I’m grateful I’m home. It was a close call.</div>
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There still a ways to go, but right now I’m off for my first outpatient IV treatment this morning with a grateful heart and I smile on my face ( Which, by the way, is 95% back to normal. And, the swelling in my hand has gone down as well.)</div>
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There are a few pictures in the comments for you weirdos that like pictures of that sort of thing.</div>
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Now go and be grateful. And don’t just feel grateful, express your gratitude someway. </div>
Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-91290336427037138322019-10-14T20:54:00.000-07:002019-10-14T20:54:27.589-07:00Mountains to ClimbToday was a rough day. Most of it was fine, even good. But, then, something happened. It was unexpected and it was hard. Really, really hard.<br />
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I've spent the afternoon making dinner, reading Come Follow Me with my family, and having family home evening. I was calm and could even smile, but there was a storm beneath the seemingly placid surface. Inside I was crying out. I was scared. I was tired. And my hope was waning.<br />
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Then, I watched this video as I prepared my seminary lesson tomorrow morning. It reached below the depth of my pain and lifted it up to a place I could reach it and hand it, or part of it at least, to God.<br />
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I will be okay. This is just a moment in time, and this particular part of the trial will pass.<br />
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And perhaps the situation might never completely resolve and perhaps this is simply my lot in life. Perhaps this trial will be one that will never leave.<br />
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But, I know that with His help, I can have the power to rise above this trial, to look down on it on my life and see it for what it is. I can walk a higher road and learn. I can be supported. I can trust Him.<br />
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I love this Elder Eyring. I love God's timing.<br />
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I'm not ready to say I love my trial yet, but I love that I know I can be okay now, even in the midst of it.<br />
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This can't be true for only me. I believe this is an eternal truth for all of us.<br />
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So, if you are having a rough day, if you feel you are climbing a mountain and you're tired and weak and slipping down a rocky slope, or if you feel like me--like a giant boulder has been thrown at your head--watch this video.<br />
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You can climb this mountain. God can help you make it through.<br />
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You can and will be okay.<br />
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<br />Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-48770166221684827432019-10-09T12:36:00.002-07:002019-10-09T12:36:53.520-07:00Graven upon His hands<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZLs8R_RZa9JhqqEG03jNn_SKu1ca1B5M69JnmUf-Wr6KTudtYeN6lt5zZ36bw4cuBKD09ob5R2tIoXKypoIbRsQP7HxbTKBCzUH8wqm3MX5e_vFnrjdpLL1U02z0UeuNv0Jx6cOS2NSwX/s1600/The+Invitation+by+Jenedy+Paige.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZLs8R_RZa9JhqqEG03jNn_SKu1ca1B5M69JnmUf-Wr6KTudtYeN6lt5zZ36bw4cuBKD09ob5R2tIoXKypoIbRsQP7HxbTKBCzUH8wqm3MX5e_vFnrjdpLL1U02z0UeuNv0Jx6cOS2NSwX/s320/The+Invitation+by+Jenedy+Paige.jpeg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.jenedypaige.com/gallery/the-invitation">"The Invitation" by Jenedy Paige</a></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Something
struck me this morning as I read again one of my favorite verses: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Behold,
I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands."*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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As part of the Savior's Atonement, He was nailed to a cross and crucified. They
drove large nails into the tender palms of His hands, as well as His wrists and
feet. The reality of that very real, excruciating, and terrible experience is
too unbearable to let my thoughts linger there for very long.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
find hope in His resurrection. His pain is over. The Atonement is complete.
This means my pain can be lessened and I can be saved. My heart and thoughts
visit this often.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
resurrected Savior had a perfect, glorified body. But, He chose to keep the
scars on His hands. Why: So people would have a tangible way of believing who
He really was. **<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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But, as I read the above verse I am moved to a deeper personal meaning behind
the immortal scars.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">To me, they signify my </span><b><span style="font-size: large;">connection</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> with Him. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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We often focus on how the Savior is a part of us, but, with these scars, <i>we
are, literally, a part of Him</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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He carries us with Him every moment of every day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">These
scars represent His love for me and my love for Him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">They
represent a connection that He won't break. (We can choose to, but His
commitment to us is solid and eternal.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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We are tethered to Him forever, through sacrifice on His part, obedience on our
part and love shared between us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
first part of the Atonement took place in the Garden of Gethsemane where He
took upon Himself our pain and sorrow. Here is where, I believe, our union with
Him began, where we became a literal part of Him. He felt all of our grief and
pain and anguish for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Then He hung and gave up His life to pay the price for our sins. And when He
rose again, He kept the scars.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJd7mfi3k4JFZd6JxC3war9J8x6sEnr_6Z4D-A_Ej7pjUhRXEE16hlVSt-Ih4HD2W3onOybuYIUC384OeJv27hroYBrOKAgdOaeAJUUM7RMASRrkPv-eys2wvxmU2gSztg0rhQ_jajCEMb/s1600/christus-hand-lds-454936-gallery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="447" data-original-width="297" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJd7mfi3k4JFZd6JxC3war9J8x6sEnr_6Z4D-A_Ej7pjUhRXEE16hlVSt-Ih4HD2W3onOybuYIUC384OeJv27hroYBrOKAgdOaeAJUUM7RMASRrkPv-eys2wvxmU2gSztg0rhQ_jajCEMb/s200/christus-hand-lds-454936-gallery.jpg" width="132" /></a><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He
kept His scars so we don't have to keep ours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He
kept His scars so we don't have to doubt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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He kept His scars so we know we are remembered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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He kept His scars so we can see our place in His life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
We are connected to Him in a tender and eternal way-- us on His hands and Him
in our hearts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This
makes Him feel all the more real to me. It awakens my sense of obligation in my
part of the Atonement. He performed it, but I am the one now must use it. He
cannot be a Savior without someone to save, so I willingly let Him save me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>We
are a part of Him.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">YOU
are a part of Him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He
isn't just a part of your life, but you are a part of His, then and right now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
So what can we do? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
He performed the Atonement and made us a part of Him. We can choose to let the
Atonement perform in us and make Him a part of us. We can put our hand in His.
We can let Him love us. We can let Him heal us. We can choose to let go of our
pride and anger and let Him change us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We
are a part of Him, this is certain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Now, we can choose to let Him be a part of us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">----------------------------------------------------------------<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">*
(1 Nephi 21:16, Nephi quoting Isaiah quoting the Lord).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">**Jesus
allowing others to touch His resurrected, scarred hands: John 20:20; John
20:27; Luke 24:39; Matthew 28:9; 3 Nephi 11:14-15)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-37154187231450011712019-10-07T18:17:00.003-07:002019-10-07T18:17:48.560-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Meet 1989 Michelle. </div>
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This is my senior portrait. Back in the 80's, this is what we did. No leaning on brick walls or posing in the middle of a field. We went to a studio with a pull-down background and hot lights where we were posed by strangers while our mothers coached from behind.</div>
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Do you see the pain in her eyes?</div>
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It's not because she was holding the rental cap at a strange height ("That's too high," one argued. "That's too low," said another. It finally landed in a position that made it look like she should be serving that someone tea on it.) And it's not because of the orange-toned makeup job that made her look like a chipper Oompa Loompa, either. It definitely wasn't because of her hair.She'd had short hair the first three years of high school, so her chin-length mane of hair was my glory. </div>
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The pain in this senior portrait came from somewhere else.</div>
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In fact, this isn't even her, or my, senior portrait. This is my the "proof" from which I would have chosen to order my official senior portraits from . . . if I would have graduated.</div>
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But I didn't graduate. And there is the source of her pain.</div>
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Actually, not graduating is a painful regret, but the pain started long before then.</div>
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I had a good life and was raised in a typical, loving home. My pain came from within. I believed lies the adversary told me, my peers told me, Hollywood told me, and I added to them my own.</div>
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I held onto these barbed lies firmly during my teenage years.</div>
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I was stupid.</div>
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I was ugly.</div>
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I was annoying.</div>
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I wasn't likable.</div>
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I wasn't lovable.</div>
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I wasn't important.</div>
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I was invisible.</div>
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I didn't matter.</div>
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These lies acted as rudders that steered my steps, the very steps that led me away from people and opportunities that could have blessed me, to a sad place inside myself.</div>
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No, it was not total misery. People I ask now tell me I was vivacious and outgoing, cute and funny, and well-liked. But the lenses through which I viewed myself and my life then, and perhaps the way I look back on it now, are tinted very darkly. Yes, I had joy and friends and fun. The pain wasn't apparent or constant, but it was real and deep. </div>
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I am sad for 1989 Michelle. I can see how she got in her own way. I can see how her fear of believing she could be something special only to be proven wrong kept hope at bay.</div>
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I wish I could go back and hug 1989 Michelle, and tell her she's okay. No, not just okay. That she is awesome. I wish I could tell her to not care what others think. I wish I could tell her to claim the power she had to decide her value, rather than giving it to other broken people who were just trying to figure themselves out. I wish I could tell her she was smart and college would be a wonderful and reachable goal. I wish I could tell her to trust God more, and to trust in herself more. I wish I could tell her to open her eyes and see the love that's around her.</div>
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1991 Michelle began to figure it out as she prepared for her mission.</div>
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1999 Michelle, married with two small kids, was strong on the path towards healing.</div>
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2009 Michelle, about to welcome a third child by adoption and just discovering a love of writing, was ever further along that path.</div>
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And now, 2019 Michelle has got a good grasp on things. I, now 48-years old, feel settled and happy in who I am. I am smart and kind and loving. I am confident and assured. I find joy in serving and don't seek approval for being. I like how I look and how I act. I love me, and because of that, I can love others more freely.</div>
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Life is difficult in other ways. I'm not perfect at all. But I have the ability now to recognize when I get in my own way and have the strength (thanks to God) to step aside.</div>
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I can't go back and take 1989 Michelle's pain away, but I can make sure I don't hold onto it. </div>
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For her, I'll take all the good she didn't see in herself and see it in me and others now. </div>
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For her, I'll find another girl, teen, or woman that can't seem to get out of her own way, and gently take her by the hand and help her step aside.</div>
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For her, I can love me now and her then.</div>
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For her, I can dismiss regret and thank her for being brave in the darkness.</div>
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For her, I can be happy.</div>
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<br />Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-39750346780393264092019-02-01T09:28:00.000-08:002019-02-01T09:28:08.398-08:00Messpirational<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Way-too-long-vulnerable post warning ahead:<br /><br />I have a new term: messpiration.<span> </span><br /><br />I discovered it this weekend when I thought I broke.<span> </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"><br /><br />As many of you know, one of the things I do is write and speak on inspirational topics for women. I am all about perspective and choice laughter and the power of will and resilience and God.<span> </span><br /><br />This can be a tricky thing, for teaching about inspiration and empowerment means I know a lot about it. And in my mind, I equate knowledge with performance. If I know these things, then I shouldn’t struggle with them.<span> </span><br /><br />But I do.<span> </span><br /><br />Not all the time. But I sometimes I do.<span> </span><br /><br />Sometimes I wonder if I am enough. I wonder if I’ve failed my kids. I wonder what people think of me. I hurt and doubt and am afraid.<br /><br />Then I beret myself because I feel like I should know better, and this means I should do better. I should think and feel better.<span> </span><br /><br />I do. But sometimes I don’t.<span> </span><br /><br />So then I feel like a fraud. How can I advocate and inspire when I feel like this way? How can I have anything to offer when I have moments of struggle myself? Why can’t I keep it all together all the time?<br /><br />I was talking to a friend the other day and I said, “You know, after all this time studying and writing and speaking, I’ve realized something. I’m a mess.”<br /><br />I love a perfect God and His perfect plan and principles. But, man do I trip all over them. I love hope but sometimes I lose it. I hate fear but sometimes I cling to it. I trust Him but sometimes I get frustrated and impatient. I understand I have control over my reactions, but sometimes I want to ram my car into the guy in front of me who cut me off (just a tap, really.) Damn slips from my lips too often and I love sleeping in and eating ice cream for breakfast. I think waaaay to much and over analyze everything-except the dumb things I do and say without thinking at all. I’m complicated and messy.<span> </span><br /><br />Circumstances were a bit challenging and I dipped pretty low this past weekend. The weight of fear and pain pushed my thoughts down. I began to doubt my contribution to my family, my church, my writing and speaking. How can I help anyone when I feel so broken? (I have soooo many thoughts on “broken”, but that’s for another long-winded post.)<br /><br />I was bemoaning my state of messiness to my daughter who, after listening to me whine and cry said, “So, you’re human then?”<br /><br />I suppose I am. Very much so.<span> </span><br /><br />You won’t find anything close to perfection here. I’m no example.<br /><br />But, I believe in God and what He can do for and with me. I get excited when I think about progression and problem-solving and who we really are and second and third and thousandths chances. I love that the Savior gets me and has the power to ease my pain and strengthen me if I let Him. I love laughter and cookie dough and organizing. I love to make people happy. And I love real.<span> </span><br /><br />So often we see people trying to inspire us with perfect appearances and programs (for a small price). They post their best as proof their answers will solve all your problems too.<span> </span><br /><br />But here’s what I’ve discovered. We are all a mess. Even them. And anyone who tells you differently is trying to sell you something. Sometimes literally.<span> </span><br /><br />We buy into the idea that happiness and joy are the “right” places and if we feel anything other than complete faith and serenity somehow it’s wrong and we are deficient. Pain and struggle have turned into sources of shame. We see them as weaknesses, proof we can’t cut it. Proof we aren’t enough.<span> </span><br /><br />Look, life sometimes is really hard. It’s messy. And we struggle. This is part of our experience. We don’t wallow in it, glorify it, or use it for attention. But we shouldn’t be ashamed of it either. Pain is pain. It’s not our enemy or our friend. What we do with it is.<br /><br />I’m almost always happy, but when I’m not, I’m really not.<span> </span><br /><br />In my lowest moment this weekend after I had cried on the shoulder of my 21-year-old daughter, I looked at her and said, “I want you to remember this moment- the moment your mom broke.”<span> </span><br /><br />She nodded.<span> </span><br /><br />Then I said, “And I want you to remember what I’m going to do next.”<br /><br />She nodded.<span> </span><br /><br />“I’m going I let you help me today. I’m going to wipe my tears. I’m going to seek God’s help because there is some pain that only He can lessen and some strength only He can give. And I’m going to chose to be okay.” Then I smiled and got up.<span> </span><br /><br />Even though I’m a mess, I’m going to continue to teach and write inspirational stuff because I believe in Who I’m teaching and writing about. I’m not an inspirational person. I’m messpirational. And I like it. And I love Him.<span> </span><br /><br />So, why share all this? And why post this pic of me that’s not smiling and joyous? Why not keep such personal matters to myself?<br /><br />Because I hurt still. It’s getting better- but there’s still a struggle to be had. And maybe you’re hurt or are struggling too. And because I hope we can still believe that we all have something to give even when we feel like we are small and broken.<span> </span><br /><br />I don’t think we need to be happy and perfect all the time to contribute or inspire. I just think we just need to be real about it all. Life is hard and wonderful and painful and lovely and scary and fantastic.<span> </span><br /><br />We don’t need to bask in the low times, allowing our struggle to define our capacity or value. Acknowledge it. Accept it. And move on with it. Wipe our tears. Let others help. And choose to keep going.<span> </span><br /><br />I choose to believe we all have something to offer, in happiness and pain, in joy and sorrow.<span> </span><br /><br />I believe we are all messpirational.</span></div>
Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-91040733425679789372019-01-18T21:52:00.000-08:002019-01-18T12:51:18.924-08:00Part of Enough is Enough<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 12.0pt;">
I’ve said it before: With God, you are enough.</div>
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But maybe that’s not true. At least, not in the way I used to think about it.</div>
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I’ve had a few experiences of late where I have, for lack of better words, not been enough.</div>
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Someone invited me to participate in something, and I did. But it didn’t yield the results they were hoping for. I didn’t meet their expectations. I wasn’t enough.</div>
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It’s been a rough parenting few weeks and one nigh recently I found myself in tears because, once again, I don’t know how to help my child. I don’t know the answers. And the answers I offer aren’t received well. I am not enough.</div>
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I have a strong understanding of and firm belief in certain spiritual truths, such as casting out fear with faith and not allowing external validation or criticism to sway my feelings about myself and the world around me, yet I sway. I am not strong enough to stand in complete confident serenity. I am not enough.</div>
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Like Paul, I know that with God all things are possible.</div>
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But I am still not enough.</div>
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I used to think (as early as this afternoon) that God could make me enough. That He could take all weaknesses and make them strengths. That with His help I could be exactly what my children need them to be, what the world needs to me be. . . what He needs me to be. That with Him, I could somehow be enough.</div>
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But I don’t believe that anymore.</div>
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This is not a siren sounding from the depths of a depressive epiphany. In fact, it is quite the opposite.</div>
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You see, I had clung to the fact that with God I could be enough for everything and everyone in my life. I wasn’t okay not being enough on my own, but I accepted it because I know that with Him I <i>could</i> be enough. I could be the mother my kids need me to be. I could be the speaker and writer publishers and readers need me to be. I could be (insert calling or label here) that others need me to be.</div>
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But that night, as my daughter walked out of the room taking my heart with her, I realized I wasn’t enough for her. The following thought was that with God I could be so I need to pray to be more.</div>
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Then a new reached into my mind like sunlight peeking through newly ripped blinds.</div>
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I am not enough for her. I nor will God make me enough. Because she needs more than just me. She needs Him.</div>
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I let that sink in, then began down that mental road.</div>
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I am not supposed to be enough for her.</div>
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I don’t know all the answers, and though God can and has blessed me with inspiration regarding my children, He won’t give me all the answers each of my children needs, because I am not the only source He wants them to turn to. If I were enough for my daughter, for instance, would she need Him? Would she seek Him? Would she need others in her life?</div>
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I have put so much pressure on myself to be enough—which, translated in woman-speak means everything—that I haven’t left space in my mind for the idea that I’m not supposed to be enough.</div>
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I can’t be enough</div>
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I will fail people.</div>
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I will make mistakes.</div>
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I will not know all the answers.</div>
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I will not connect with every viewer or reader.</div>
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I will have weaknesses and faults as long as I live.</div>
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I will disappoint people.</div>
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I will not be perfect at everything.</div>
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I will not be everything everyone needs—or even everything one person needs.</div>
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I will fall short.</div>
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I will not be enough.</div>
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And God, as good and capable as He is, won’t make me.</div>
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He won’t make me able to never fail people.</div>
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He won’t make me mistake-free.</div>
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He won’t make every viewer or reader love me.</div>
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He won’t take away my weaknesses and faults completely.</div>
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He won’t magically turn me into someone who won’t disappoint anyone.</div>
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He won’t make me everything everyone needs—or even everything one person needs.</div>
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He won’t make me succeed every time.</div>
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He won’t make me enough, even if He could.</div>
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Because it’s not about me. </div>
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The moment I try to be enough for others—meaning, to meet all their needs and make them happy, I do a few things. I take away some of their personal responsibility to think and do for themselves. I take away their privilege to grow through struggle. I also leave little room for others to meet their needs as well.</div>
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I am not supposed to be enough for them because God has put other people in their lives to help them, support them, and love them too. People who think differently than me, who can reach others in a way that I can’t. Even my own children.</div>
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As my daughter and I shared tears that night, I realized I wasn’t enough for her. I wasn’t enough to give her all the answers or to take her pain away. I wasn’t enough to respond to her in the perfect way. I wasn’t enough. And I’m not going to be enough because being enough for her isn’t my job. It isn’t the way God has set things up. She needs Him. She needs others. She needs me. She needs herself.</div>
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It’s not that with God I am enough, in the context of Him making me enough. But rather, when I stand with God, I am part of enough. When I stand with others who can help my children, we are part of enough. And when I help my children stand for themselves, they become part of enough.</div>
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I am not supposed to be enough. I am supposed to be a part of enough. My part of enough, then, is to love and serve and teach the best I can.</div>
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I won’t be enough in my speaking and writing, simply put, because there are some people who simply don’t connect with me. I don’t resonate with them. Some even don’t like me very much. God isn’t going to make me enough for them because it’s not about me. <i>They</i> don’t like me. And I have to be okay with that. My part of enough, then, is to do my part—to speak and write the good things I love the best I can.</div>
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I won’t be enough for those in my larger circles of friends and acquaintances. I’m not meant to me. I’m not the friend you see in the movies that says the perfect things in three lines and all the world is better. I can’t be what everybody needs. I am not enough. My part of enough is to be a good person and try to improve a little every day, to love and be loved, to get up after I fall, and to be real.</div>
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I used to think I could be enough with His help, meaning, He would make up for my mistakes and faults and fill in the holes I’d left—like holy armor or a divine clean-up crew—so my efforts would, then, be enough.</div>
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But now I see it as me standing next to Him. I fall short and He smiles lovingly at my effort. Then He goes to work through the Spirit, through divine choreography, through others, to help meet the needs and righteous wants of those I love. I am a part of His plan. Not the whole plan. He is not the backup plan for when I fail. He is the coordinator of the plan I am a part of.</div>
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I am part of enough. He knows the whole enough.</div>
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In this new light, I am no longer afraid of not being enough for my children or anyone. There is no failure in not meeting everyone’s needs because that’s not God’s expectation. That’s not my job. I can trust that God knows my children and His children well enough that He has plans to give them all they need—to give them enough—if they let Him. (Because in all of this, others still have their agency and can choose to reject all their enoughs if they want to.)</div>
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With God, I am still not enough. But, with God, I am part of enough. I am a part of their enough, and I am a part of your enough. My part is different sizes in the lives of those around me, but it’s still just a part.</div>
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My mind turns to the people in my life, how they fill their parts of my enough. And I love them. I love the different colors and beats they bring into my life. I love that my needs are met through many of them—some needs I didn’t even know I had. Some play bigger parts in my enough—like my husband, children my parents, and close friends. Some play smaller, but vital parts of my enough—like the friend who sends what they think is a random message but actually the answer to a prayer I’d whispered that morning. Like a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes swirling together, I can see God bringing people into my life that all play parts in my enough.</div>
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And I can see, now, that I am just a part of theirs.</div>
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I don’t have to enough for everyone. Even my kids. I just have try to do my part of enough well. And that is something, I think, God will help me make possible.</div>
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So, now, I have a new motto. Rather than, “I am not enough” I am going to say “I am part of enough”. In fact, I’m going to cross-stitch it on a pillow. That’s how much I like it.<br />
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I am part of enough. And that's enough.</div>
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Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-80969959588729722722019-01-18T12:30:00.000-08:002019-01-18T12:30:17.176-08:00<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I love the power of words-not just what they are but how we read them. It's much like ourselves. How do we choose to see ourselves?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I've seen prose written this way before, and I thought I'd take a stab at it. It was a surprisingly moving exercise in recognizing the dichotomy of emotions that lie within ourselves and our ability and right to choose which ones we give power to and, in that sense, give to or take power from ourselves.</span></div>
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A couple of weeks ago a friend and I visited my favorite statue- the Christus. I’ve spent many hours at the foot of this statue over the years. I’ve shed tears of pain and tears of joy. I’ve silently plead and silently thanked. And in all times, I’ve looked at this and seen my Savior.</div>
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I have a new phone which has the ability to detect faces before it enters “portrait mode”, a mode that focuses on the person, letting the background fade into a blur. If it doesn’t detect a fac<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">e it won’t enter into portrait mode and it won’t focus on what’s most important in the frame.</span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>As I pointed my phone at the face of Jesus, it gave me this message: “No person detected”.<br />
I was immediately sad for two reasons. One- I wouldn’t be able to take the really cool picture of the Christus I’d had in mind. I was sad my phone didn’t see Him like I did, that it couldn’t recognize His face.</div>
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Then I thought of all the people that see Jesus but don’t recognize Him for who He really is. They give off the message “No Savior detected.” Then they can’t focus on what’s most important.<br />
This saddens me because He isn’t just the reason for the season. He’s the reason for everything.<br />
When don’t recognize Him for who He is- our Savior, our Redeemer, our friend-we miss out on so much.</div>
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But when we focus on Him, the things that don’t really matter blur into the background. Pain can be lessened. Grief can be softened. Joy can be magnified. And love can abound.</div>
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Now that the Christmas season is winding down, I hope people don’t lose their focus. I hope they’ll always be able to see Him, and in turn, see themselves.</div>
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For who He is defines who we are. He is our brother. We are children of God. He is our Savior. We are worthy to be saved. He’s our Redeemer. The entire purpose of this life is our redemption and exaltation. He is our examplar. We are His disciples. He is our friend. And we are His.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">I hope we can keep our focus on Him as the days and months roll by, as the trials and afflictions test and strain, and the joy and peace breath life unto us again. I hope we can always see Him and detect Him- our Savior.</span><br />
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<br />Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-36016226732539294752018-11-18T16:38:00.001-08:002018-11-18T16:39:47.578-08:00I am strong enough to carry Jesus<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">"I am strong enough to carry Jesus." This was the claim made by a sweet young boy as he walked down the hall in Church today. He then showed me a picture of Jesus he had tucked into a neatly folded piece of paper. "See, I put him right here where he's safe like this, and I can carry him with me all the time."</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0PI8EK3JyZ1P7aVC5edQGFNU4qxCP9lwLc_PsvtYJlOhPDyGNVR6Wd1cmC38ePlzOHwbQkkX2eOBgpe3V9XuiO9eyEQ0dXnU8UtRhtbpPKD9o3M1k9Hc2FjsMcrOJgnOzyCE1VEfQfNj3/s1600/christ-carrying-cross.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="259" data-original-width="300" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0PI8EK3JyZ1P7aVC5edQGFNU4qxCP9lwLc_PsvtYJlOhPDyGNVR6Wd1cmC38ePlzOHwbQkkX2eOBgpe3V9XuiO9eyEQ0dXnU8UtRhtbpPKD9o3M1k9Hc2FjsMcrOJgnOzyCE1VEfQfNj3/s200/christ-carrying-cross.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">It was a sweet exchange that made me smile. But his first statement stayed and caused me to ponder the layers of it. "I am strong enough to carry Jesus."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://1ni9so435huh58o5i10eewh1-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Mary1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for mary carry jesus" border="0" height="200" src="https://1ni9so435huh58o5i10eewh1-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Mary1.png" width="195" /></a><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">It conjured up images of the man carrying Jesus' cross, or those that carried His body to the tomb, or those that, no doubt, offered Him food and shelter during his mortal ministry. I</span><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"> think of Mary, who carried him in swaddling clothes, and an angel who comforted Him in the garden the night before His death. Jesus alone could do what He did, but He was surrounded by many who had the strength to help Him, even carry Him. And I ask myself, would I have been one of them?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">I also think of what it means to carry Jesus now. Though He is resurrected and perfected and His mortal sojourn done, He is still very much alive. He has feelings and emotions deeper than we can imagine. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only does He feel perfect love and joy, but He feels perfect sorrow and grief. Is it possible that I, here and now, can do things that can lighten His load or offer peace?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">I think so. And the way I think I can do that is by “carrying” Him with me. Meaning—take His name upon me. Think of Him. Emulate Him. Learn of Him. To be a disciple. All the things we so often hear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">But, in reality, this all means that I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">want</i> to be His friend and Him to be mine. The kind of friend I am proud to admit I know and love and want to be like. The kind of friend I’d follow to heaven.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">It’s hard sometimes to be a disciple. We can be mocked by others. The adversary can attack our faith. Our own reasoning, the creation of false personal narratives and expectations, and surrender to fears and doubts can cause us to put Him down as if having faith in Him is too heavy for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Are we strong enough to carry Jesus?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">I think we are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">I think He is lighter than the lightest of our sorrows and grief. He is easier to carry than our anger and grudges. And I think we are stronger than we realize we are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">They why does it seem, sometimes, hard to ‘carry Jesus’ in certain times of our lives?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">I wonder if it’s where we are carrying Him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Now think of bending your arm and bringing your hand close to your chest. Now how long could you hold the glass of water? Twenty minutes? An hour?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">I wonder if sometimes we carry Jesus, but we do it at arm’s length, keeping Him at a distance. Whether it’s because we struggle with certain points of doctrine or are unwilling to follow certain commandments, we keep Him close to us touch but far enough away to not draw Him in. Close enough to call in Him when we need help, but far away enough to let doubt weaken our hold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">But, if we were to pull Him in how different would that be. How much easier could we carry Him if He were the closest thing to our heart? Would we be strong enough then to carry Him in a world of changing values, in the face of persecution, and in the sparks of our own searching and doubt?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Do we have a place, carefully prepared by purposeful decisions and holy habits, where we can carry Him with us all the time?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">I love the thought path this sweet boy led me down to. I love where I ended up today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />I have a refreshed determination to draw my Savior in. I want to boldly, and with love, say, “I am strong enough to carry Jesus.” Because I know He carries me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-14988967572075316412018-11-11T21:13:00.000-08:002018-11-11T21:13:18.373-08:00Just because we can do it well doesn't always mean we have to do it.<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Aside from my current full-length inspirational nonfic and women's fic projects, I've been trying out different writing short things in different genres lately, just to see what I can do and what I like.</div>
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I've dabbled in doing interviews for an online magazine, informative articles, sci-fi, poetry, and now, as of last night, a creepy short story. I didn't mean to do it. It just . . . happened. Like, it has a good message, but it's so creepy it creeps me out. Which doesn't say much because I get creeped out easily. <a class="profileLink" data-hovercard-prefer-more-content-show="1" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=647601980&extragetparams=%7B%22__tn__%22%3A%22%2CdK-R-R%22%2C%22eid%22%3A%22ARCnk-GBgzTTxhIV1ftxMSL3_XXQVO4Eki-5GRpFe2_bBFeMYu6c9QM9XpYvY-knwKHPGqmve02FzG4G%22%2C%22fref%22%3A%22mentions%22%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/lisamangum?__tn__=%2CdK-R-R&eid=ARCnk-GBgzTTxhIV1ftxMSL3_XXQVO4Eki-5GRpFe2_bBFeMYu6c9QM9XpYvY-knwKHPGqmve02FzG4G&fref=mentions" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;">Lisa Mangum</a> can tell you that.</div>
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But it's good. Surprisingly. good.</div>
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But I don't want to write creepy things.</div>
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But I've discovered I am good at it.</div>
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I've thought about my experience and have asked myself a question: If this is good, then shouldn't I write more of the same genre? I mean, if I discover I am good at something, isn't there some moral obligation to pursue it?</div>
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And the answer I've come to is a resounding "no".</div>
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I am allllllll for working outside our comfort zone. That's where growth is.</div>
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And yes, we are told not to bury our talents.</div>
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But, we are not told to take every talent we have and use it in every way we can.</div>
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Just as we pick and choose what is good, better, and best in our lives, I think we should do the same with our talents and what we do with them.</div>
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And just because we can do something well does not mean we have to do it often. Or at all if it's not healthy for you.</div>
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I'm not saying writing creepy things isn't good or healthy. For some, like <a class="profileLink" data-hovercard-prefer-more-content-show="1" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=707956445&extragetparams=%7B%22__tn__%22%3A%22%2CdK-R-R%22%2C%22eid%22%3A%22ARAoehS3JoOIR_u4og5fewophrT7Hy3r_j0mCow7Cbm7gWMbKLMwgMs2L-r49aNS1rHamGOPf3EqQYzq%22%2C%22fref%22%3A%22mentions%22%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/mercedes.murdockyardley?__tn__=%2CdK-R-R&eid=ARAoehS3JoOIR_u4og5fewophrT7Hy3r_j0mCow7Cbm7gWMbKLMwgMs2L-r49aNS1rHamGOPf3EqQYzq&fref=mentions" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;">Mercedes Murdock Yardley</a>, who is a lovely, lovely soul, it is one of the best ways she uses one of her best talents and it fills her and others.</div>
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I'm saying that each person is different. What is best for Mercedes makes me need to wear Depends.</div>
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What I'm saying is that we shouldn't feel obligated to use the gifts and talents we have in ways that do not make us healhy or happy.</div>
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If you have a gift of working with small children but you don't love doing it, then don't do it.</div>
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If you have a gift for counseling others but you don't want to be a therapist, don't do it.</div>
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If you have a gift for baking but you don't love being in the kitchen all day, don't do it all day.</div>
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Yesssssss, I believe we should reach outside of our comfort zones and discover gifts and talents and push ourselves and grow. And yesssss I believe God will ask us to do some things we don't want to do. And yessss I believe that God has given us gifts and talents to discover and use for His glory.</div>
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BUT, we are stewards of our time and energy. And it is not a sin to discover/recognize we are good at something we don't particularly enjoy doing and choose not to do.</div>
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I've always jokingly told my kids, "Use your powers for good."</div>
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If what is in my power isn't good for me or others, I don't have to use it that way.</div>
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I think God has given every one of us more talents and gifts than we can nurture and perfect in our lives. He did this, I believe, to allow us to choose the gifts we love and use them for good and to bring us joy, and for His purposes.</div>
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Yesssss, there are times God will ask us to use our gifts for things that will be difficult or we might not enjoy. He has His reasons.</div>
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But He also expects us to be good stewards of our time and talents. Times and seasons. Choices and accountability. And joy.</div>
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So often we focus on alllll the things we can't do well that I think this issue of what to do with alllll the things we can do well gets overlooked.</div>
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And lemme just say, it's okay to acknowledge you have talents and gifts and skills and be grateful for them. That is not arrogance or pride. Arrogance or pride is when you use your talents, gifts, and skills to make yourself feel better than others, or use it in any way to compare yourself with others. (insert EZT Benson talk on pride here.)</div>
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It is gratitude and love and joy to recognize the gifts we've been given and the things we can do. Humility isn't downplaying how awesome we are because humble people can't be really awesome, or heaven forbid, admit they are. Humility is recognizing where the awesomeness comes from and partnering with God when deciding what to do with it.</div>
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I discovered I am good at writing creepy things. This surprised me and even tickled me a bit. I mean, I wrote something REALLY COOL! And it's good. Creepy good. But I don't want to do it more. I've talked with God about it, and after a good conversation with HIm, I'm gonna take this certain talent for this genre, acknowledge it, tell it it's been fun, pat its head, and tuck it into bed. God's good with it and so am I.</div>
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Now onto more writing about things that don't make me want to wet the bed.</div>
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(Of course, I am going to submit my creepy short story to an online magazine. I mean, just because I don't want to write more doesn't mean I'm going to waste what I've done. That's like realizing you don't love baking after baking a batch of delicious cookies so you don't eat the cookies you just made. Makes no sense.)</div>
Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-86494231434011642212018-10-22T04:28:00.000-07:002018-10-22T08:23:03.093-07:00Five lessons writing taught me about life. <div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm9IItxkrGodK8ZxQCt-W-IoNYajJ77ArQ8kuCptmhZRz-g2Sywok9b5GHX17pFBDXBSwsCeZeEsohLVmrHEN6sslrvj1WQS9JrUBV0fl5QTb2qOGHsAcdYlwmwLv42MJExgHx2-qAb86y/s1600/Copy+of+_Discomfort+is+the+price+of+admission+to+a+meaningful+life._.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm9IItxkrGodK8ZxQCt-W-IoNYajJ77ArQ8kuCptmhZRz-g2Sywok9b5GHX17pFBDXBSwsCeZeEsohLVmrHEN6sslrvj1WQS9JrUBV0fl5QTb2qOGHsAcdYlwmwLv42MJExgHx2-qAb86y/s320/Copy+of+_Discomfort+is+the+price+of+admission+to+a+meaningful+life._.png" width="320" /></a>A few months ago, I received a strong impression to write a booklet on a specific topic. It was a welcome revelation because as far as my writing has gone it has seemed that God has had no real strong feelings that past few years. I know He cares, of course. But as I’ve prayed about what to write in recent years, passing ideas by Him or asking for direction, it’s almost been as though His answer has been, “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. You could do that. Whatever you feel you want to do is fine with me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Not always the answer I want, because honestly, sometimes I want God to tell me what to do. I want Him to give me an idea, who me a direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not because I can’t think of my own ideas. I can. But because there’s a part of me that is perpetually checking and rechecking that I am doing His will, not mine. I want to write what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He</i> wants me to write, not what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i> want to write.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When specific impressions regarding what to write didn’t come, I was concerned and talked with my husband about it. Was I praying wrong? Not being specific enough? Did God not want me to write?<o:p></o:p></div>
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He reminded me of a truth I knew, but somehow had forgotten it applied to me. He said something like, “Maybe God really <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> okay with whatever you write. Or even write at all.” I have always been a firm believer that God is extremely invested in our lives, that we have a collective purpose and an individual purpose, that all we do is important to Him. So, it had not really occurred to me that there were some things in this life that He could go either way on.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And it was . . . scary. What do you mean, I could write or not write? It’s a huge part of my life. Why wouldn’t He care?<o:p></o:p></div>
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We had many conversations after this one where I’ve come to realize a few things.<o:p></o:p></div>
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First, He does care. But God does not want to, nor intend to, script every moment of our lives. He gave us agency and expects us to use it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Secondly, He trusts me more than I allowed myself to believe. I think often times the heavens quiet down not because God is far from us, but because we are closer to Him. We don’t need to be told to turn right or left, to wear the purple shirt or blue, to write or not write. We can think and pray and consider and choose what we feel is right for us. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Then</i> we can take it to Him for confirmation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Thirdly, God wants me to be happy. Sometimes we are asked to do hard things because they are the right thing. Because of this, it can be easy to equate righteousness and His will with suffering. Sometimes the right thing is simply choosing what brings us joy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Fourth, as I considered all of these things, I came to believe that God wasn’t going to tell me what to do in every facet of my life—that I could and should choose for myself, that He did have faith in me, that if writing made me happy, I should do it, and if it didn’t, He’d be okay if I stopped. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
But—and this is a really big but—these things only worked if I kept my communication with heaven wide and open and often. Rather than asking Him for constant direction and validation, I realized that if I focused on staying close to Him through obedience and prayer, and I strived to become like Him, that, by default, much of what I wanted was already what He wanted for me. He could give me the space to learn and grow because, even though I stumble, I was stumbling in the right direction.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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If I turn my back on Him and fly solely by my own gauges, and decide that God doesn’t care if I keep the commandments or dive off the deep end and leave my family to follow my dream of being a parade dancer in Disneyland, then I could very well get into dangerous territory. I could easily learn to (and love) the quest of “finding my own truth” and “doing whatever I want as long as it isn’t hurting others.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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The difference is the direction we are facing. It might seem like a spiritual nuance to you, but it is so much more. When we are facing God and moving towards Him, our desire for and ability to choose the life that is best for us grows. We can make choices—even really important ones—without His constant handholding. We can be spiritual grownups as we begin to walk by His side, not in His shadow. And it can bring us joy because we—He and us—are a team, working for the same purpose, the same intention, the same goal. Facing any other direction takes us away from His side and His goal.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am not saying we don’t need to pray for direction. We should pray to Him in all that we do, everything. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But we do not need to be immobilized when specific revelation doesn’t come.</i> It doesn’t mean He is ignoring us, or can’t even hear us. It doesn’t mean He doesn’t care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes, it simply means that He knows we can choose for ourselves what He would have chosen for us, and He wants to give us that chance—that freedom to do it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, I sat down and had a serious talk with myself about what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i> wanted to write. I checked my desires and decisions against what I thought He would want for me, then I did it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And guess what, it brought me joy. And not only that but eventually I received confirmation that He was truly pleased with me and my direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I learned my life wasn’t a scripted path I had to follow. Yes, the way to heaven is straight and narrow. But the path can be colorful and filled with things that bring me joy. And He’s okay with that. As long as they accompany me on the path and not lead me from it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This brings me back to the impression I received a few months ago, and the fifth lesson I learned from writing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was plugging along, writing what brought me joy, when, as I mentioned, I received an impression to write something very specific. I welcomed it and begin writing at once. The words came to me easily and joyfully. I knew I was writing what He wanted me to write, and I was happy. I submitted it promptly to my publisher, knowing they would offer to publish it on sight. After all, it was God’s idea and He approved. Why wouldn’t they?<o:p></o:p></div>
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It took them weeks and weeks to discuss the project. Waiting was easy because I knew they’d pick it up. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But they didn’t. <o:p></o:p></div>
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They rejected it, and I was left to ponder about the entire thing. Did I not feel impressed to write it? Was this not the home it was destined for?<o:p></o:p></div>
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After some internal deliberations, I came to realize my fifth lesson: Just because we feel the Spirit guide us to do things, it does not mean the way we hope or think it will end <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> how it’s going to end up. I’ve been guilty of this in the past, thinking that if I feel impressed to do something, then that confirmation is the same thing as a promise of the outcome. But it’s not a guarantee.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When things don’t turn out according to our expectations, we might question God or doubts ourselves. But the truth is, sometimes He has other plans and needs us to take two steps towards one thing so He can lead us to another. And, sometimes, things just simply don’t work out.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And it’s okay.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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That’s what I’ve learned through all of this. Trust God. Keep close to Him and try to be like Him. Choose the best I can what I feel is right and what will bring me joy. Communicate with God every day. And accept what happens. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So, I keep writing. I am prayerful and doing what I can to stay close to God and seeking His guidance. But when it doesn’t seem to come, I step ahead in the confidence I feel He has in me, and keep moving forward towards Him and the things that bring me joy. And it is not only okay. It’s good. Really good. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-88764955101967589182018-10-18T05:04:00.000-07:002018-10-18T05:04:02.772-07:00I'n gonna do sumfinI love babies. I love the way they smell and think and play and laugh. I think they are marvelous.<br />
<br />
I love how they grow without the burden of caring what others think.<br />
<br />
I love how they are curious and brave and keenly aware of their innate needs.<br />
<br />
I love how they love to discover and try so hard to do new things.<br />
<br />
And I love when they begin to talk and can articulate the workings of their little minds with broken, darling vocabulary.<br />
<br />
Sometimes it takes the mindset of a child for an adult to try something new. It takes modeling their curiosity and bravery, the way they don't care about how they look to others, the way they don't fear failure. They way the simply want to do what they want to.<br />
<br />
In that spirit, I want to tell you that . . . . <i>I'n gonna do sumfin.</i><br />
<br />
I'm going to do something that I've thought about for a while but have allowed all the grownup thinks and thoughts and fears to keep at bay.<br />
<br />
<i>I'n gonna make some bideos.</i><br />
<br />
Yes, you read that right. I'm going to be making videos.<br />
<br />
No, it's not a huge announcement.<br />
<br />
But for me, it's an exciting-and big-step. It's new and they might be awful and maybe no one will watch or maybe they will and say mean things because they won't be professional-looking and Pinterest worthy.<br />
<br />
But I'm going to do it because I want to. I think it could be fun.<br />
<br />
So, my good friends, you can expect the first video to be released next week. (Gah! I just committed. Now it's real!)<br />
<br />
The video series will be called, "At the Table" as I'll be filming them at my kitchen table. They will be a casual treatment of gospel topics and women's issues. And yes, some men's issues as well.<br />
<br />
I love teaching, and this is my way of being able to teach the things I love with you.<br />
<br />
For fun, here's a sneak peek at my super short intro. I kinda like it.<br />
<br />
See you (or, you see me) literally, next week!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-84604818145017178852018-10-17T22:47:00.001-07:002018-10-17T22:47:39.064-07:00The perfect thinkI think that thinking too much can be dangerous. As can thinking too little.<br />
<br />
Too much and we can turn out thoughts into circles, unproductive and dizzy. When thoughts swirl in circles, they become confused, distorted, changed. Logic loses its stickiness and doubt, posing as level-thinking-can run rampant in the middle. We spin and spin and go nowhere.<br />
<br />
Too little and our minds never stretch past the expanse of possibility. Complacency, whether fed by fear or laziness, can breed mental, spiritual, and emotional atrophy. Thinking too little robs us from self-discovery and growth.<br />
<br />
So how do we find the right balance of thinking? A place where healthy analysis leads to positive understanding and action?<br />
<br />
I don't know.<br />
<br />
Sorry if you were hoping for an answer. This is my latest quest. I tend to overthink things. Then I find my thoughts are invaded by doubts and fears and justifications. Emotions, like anger, frustration, and embarrassment, can feed on my overactive thoughts. Then comes the inability to move, to act. I am paralyzed by the options, the avenues my overthinking engrave in my mind.<br />
<br />
I want to find that perfect balance. The place where I consider something fully, prayerfully, decide on a course of action, then move forward, fearless and without regret.<br />
<br />
But how?<br />
<br />
I must resist the urge to overthink this. Oh the irony.<br />
<br />
So here is what I will do.<br />
<br />
Stop thinking about it.<br />
<br />
Stop thinking about why I said that dumb thing when I was in a group of friends. Why my latest book was rejected by a publisher. Why raising an adoptive child is difficult. Why I stink at making dinner. Why I care what other people think. Why I can freely forgive most people, but there are four people that I can't seem to.<br />
<br />
I have thought about these things, and many others, so much that the dizzying and dangerous conclusion to each one comes down to the same answer: Because I am not good enough.<br />
<br />
And this is a tragedy of overthinking. We think and think and think until we come up with an answer that satisfies our mind, an answer that can't be argued with, an answer--a truth--that explains everything.<br />
<br />
For some, it is that they are victims and life and everyone in it is out to get them. For others it is the opposite, that life is good but the fault lies within themselves.<br />
<br />
Neither is wholly accurate.<br />
<br />
And again we are looking at balance. Trying to find the perfect think.<br />
<br />
So, I am going to stop, or try hard to, swinging too far to one side or another, like a pendulum pushed by an outside force.<br />
<br />
I'm going to find that place in the middle, where my thoughts can sway just enough to see clearly and act wisely.<br />
<br />
I'll stop assigning blame so much and start finding solutions. I'll stop letting fear spin me in circles and start standing still with courage. I'll stop worrying about opinions and start looking more for truth.<br />
<br />
And maybe I'll even set a timer. Seriously. Like, give myself ten minutes to think about an issue, then go and cleanse my mind with an audiobook or This is Us or Lost. You know, to break the cycle. No binging, of course, because that could lead to not thinking enough because I don't want that either.<br />
<br />
The most important element of the perfect think is <i>who</i> you invite into your thinking.<br />
<br />
Satan would have you overthink until you are in a state of frenzied, miserable paralysis. He'd have you justify your way out of good relationships and opportunities. He'd have you think your way into addiction and self-loathing.<br />
<br />
Punk.<br />
<br />
God, however, wants you to think, to learn, to long for knowledge and answers. Not confusion or distortion. But truth.<br />
<br />
I find that when my overthinking begins to take hold, it's often because I took the "we" out of God.<br />
<br />
God is not a solo kind of guy. There is always a "we" or an "us" with Him. There is no selfish agenda, no lone purpose. He is in me and I'm in Him. We are a we. And sometimes I forget that and pull and I. Like when I overthink.<br />
<br />
I need to keep in mind, when there are serious things to think about, to invite Him into my mind and heart and process, trusting that, if I listen to Him, He can be the ultimate sounding board, temper my enthusiasm and crazy, and heal my yearning soul.<br />
<br />
That, to me, sounds like the perfect think.<br />
<br />
That, and a bunch of chocolate.<br />
<br />Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-28155394110595910602018-10-17T22:11:00.000-07:002018-10-17T22:11:05.181-07:00Word Prompt stories--random but super fun!I attended a writers retreat last week where I participated in a fun activity, lovingly called "Word Wars." Someone reads a random prompt, and we have three minutes to come up write something.<br />
<br />
I thought I'd share a few of mine here. No literary masterpieces, but I had a lot of fun.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Prompt: If we were all forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Go away, I say shyly, while hiding my sign<o:p></o:p></div>
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I pull my coat over to hide the tin shine<o:p></o:p></div>
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Though labels we all have, I’m nervous for mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s different than others, I woefully resign.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I read all their labels, each one seems to fit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Liar” and “Fraud” and “I want to quit”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And “Smotherer” and “Hugger” and “Artistic Guru.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And “Happy” and “Lucky” and a “Gifted” one too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I can’t show them mine. Mine I can’t let them see.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For it’s different… but not. It’s about who is “me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who I am, what I do, what is brimming inside.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I wonder to myself why I feel I should hide.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not “Angry” or “Violent” or “Mysterious”, no.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not “Neurotic” or “Crazy”. But it’s all part of it, you know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am nothing and everything, and all in between<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My sign is all of them. Here’s what I mean.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It could say all the above and then a bit more,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It could say “Poet” or “Learning” or even “Care-worn”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or “Giving” and “Loving” and “Dark and Demure”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even “Courage “and “Daring” and “Sharing” for sure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s something and everything and all I can be<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I hold my sign up proudly for all to see me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It means “Risk-taker” “Creator” and even “Fighter”.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My sign is one single word. It says “Writer.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Prompt: Empty rooms in the attic for rent<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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The wood creaked beneath her feet as she gingerly stepped into the attic. The smell of mold and forgotten times spoke loudly, as if she was an old friend returning.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />A wooden hobby horse sat in the corner, heavy and alone. Light through the window reached down, touching its nose. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A finger run across it’s back made a trail through the dust.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Empty and cold, the room was full of lives past and lives future.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“I’ll take it,” she said. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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And the horse began to rock.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Prompt: “And then suddenly she turned off her emotions”<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Nothing. I have nothing to say. Nothing to feel. They tell me they remember the day I stopped talking. But I only remember the day I stopped feeling.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Before the incident, as Mother calls it, my mouth ran like a waterfall in the spring. Then, it happened. The world crashed. I crashed, exploding and imploding, screaming and pulling and pushing and caving in on myself. Anything to get away.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Then, suddenly I had to do it. I needed escape the smell and the feel and the sound. That crashing, terrible sound. I was alone. They were gone. And my emotions left with them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Prompt: So that’s what you are, he whispered in awe<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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“She’s bossy and needy,” the young husband said,<o:p></o:p></div>
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“I can’t get her whines out of my head.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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The wise man nodded as the young man spoke,<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Do you love her,” the man asked the bloke<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Of course I do,” the other man glared <o:p></o:p></div>
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“if I didn’t I wouldn’t look past all I’ve shared.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Part of that’s true. But you’re missing a piece.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But what you’re not doing is seeing her whole,”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Her hair is brown and her eyes are brown<o:p></o:p></div>
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I know my wife her smile her frown.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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You see with your eyes, and these might be true<o:p></o:p></div>
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But you don’t see with your heart, it might surprise you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The young husband returned to his wife late that night<o:p></o:p></div>
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With a decision to change the source of his sight<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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He handed her a baby and blew hair from her face<o:p></o:p></div>
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And said, “I’m tired. I’ll heat up your plate.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Wait” he said as he grabbed her hand<o:p></o:p></div>
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And looked at her eyes, discovering new land.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In them he saw all her joy and her pain<o:p></o:p></div>
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He saw her laughter and love unfeigned<o:p></o:p></div>
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Her dedication and worth, her value and meekness<o:p></o:p></div>
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He see who she was, and his knees felt their weakness<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“so that’s who you are,” he whispered in awe<o:p></o:p></div>
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<![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <!--EndFragment--></o:p></div>
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At the woman he loved, magnificent and all<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Prompt: Unrequited love<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Barb looked at Scott longingly. Like a hungry panda looks at an ice cream cone in the Asian summer heat. He was the captain of the chess/soccer/Nintendo team and she was a lonely super model. He could never want her. Still, still, still, still, still. She wanted him . A lot. Like a lot a lot. So one day Barb wrote Scott a letter and it said, <br />Dear Scott. I love you. I don’t want to bush around the beat (for you see, Barb had colloquial dyslexia). Loving you is breaking me to the core. And I want you to kow if you could love me back. Could you would you love me? Would be as hard a needle going through a camel’s back?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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She handed the letter to Scott one day after his foozeball practice, He wiped his hands on his black unitard and read it slowly. Because she had written in Hungarian and he had to get a translator to help. Finally he looked up with tears running down his cheek. Or, actually just a single tear (because that’s what Ann loves to hear) and said, “Barb, I cannot love you. My love belongs to one another.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
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Barb wept and said, “Who” who who who who who who who who who who who who (Because she has as stutter) could you love more than I? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Prompt: A vessel that takes you somewhere else<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This will be a great idea, said Frank. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Heather looked at him with rolling eyes, or, more aptly put she looked at him after her she rolled her eyes because you can’t really look at someone while you’re rolling your eyes. But I digress.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Being on this vessel is how we can get somewhere that isn’t here. And don’t we want to go there.” Mused Frank.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“But your ideas are never good, Frank.” Sighed Heather<o:p></o:p></div>
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“They are. Tell me when they aren’t.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Like the time you thought we should roller skate on the beach. Like, on the actual beach. Or that time you wanted to sing karaoke.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“There’s nothing wrong with that.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“There is when it’s at Grandma Bee’s funeral.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“I’ll give you that you that one. But what about the time I picked the winning lottery numbers?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Heather rubbed her 5 billion-dollar wedding ring. “That <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">was</i> a good idea.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">They smiled at each other as she followed him onto the Titanic….</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Prompt: Eye contact two people seeing one another for the first time<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the Land of Triple Sue wanted a dipple<o:p></o:p></div>
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She ate the dipple and wanted more<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sue went to the store to buy a dipple more<o:p></o:p></div>
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And there she was something that made her heart sore<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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A pair of eyes green and sage<o:p></o:p></div>
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Or maybe hazel, she couldn’t gauge<o:p></o:p></div>
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They were wide and enticing<o:p></o:p></div>
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Like cucumbers a slicing<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And she stared more and more<o:p></o:p></div>
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And more and more and more<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until three past awkward<o:p></o:p></div>
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Which was the language of the land.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Whom might might might you be?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Was the question in row of three,<o:p></o:p></div>
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But the eyes kept looking doe-aly.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Sue blinked three blinks and asked again<o:p></o:p></div>
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Your eyes are so deep and familiar too<o:p></o:p></div>
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I feel like I know you. I do, I do.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The eyes finally blinked then turned sky blue.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And the voice said, “You do, Sue” It said, “Because I am you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Prompt: Nature extremists take over the government<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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It was chilly in the war room that day. The general sat at the head of the table, looking undaunted, though there was fear in his eyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Today is a cold day,” he said with a shiver. He eyed to the private to adjust the thermostat.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“it’s a sad day,” he said with a cough. “Extremists have taken over the government and made some demands.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“But,” said Hayley from the corner of the long table.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“No buts” he barked. “We don’t have time for a discussion. We must give in to their demands, or at least act like we are, if we are to win this war.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“But Sir,” Haley pleaded again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He stood to yell, but kept in his seat, shaking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so cold.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Then Haley finally yelled. “But Sir, the extremists are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Nature</i> extremists sir. Not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nudists</i> extremists.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
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Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-12625686806062723492018-10-15T07:48:00.000-07:002018-10-15T07:48:01.808-07:00A real anything<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8XkdLIlup270kilQg0s579eCfsJWEKW4jJu9fOavNWfENFbNktYTLHkXK_WWL3MpuilsOyYi42ZgNC9Wwx095nnp9DYNnQr9_ZdXIsVY23X8ldPKbC6ge1Sp3IFWTjOhiKXmvURyQ-FML/s1600/2NWwnnm4Qn29do8pz5pxCg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8XkdLIlup270kilQg0s579eCfsJWEKW4jJu9fOavNWfENFbNktYTLHkXK_WWL3MpuilsOyYi42ZgNC9Wwx095nnp9DYNnQr9_ZdXIsVY23X8ldPKbC6ge1Sp3IFWTjOhiKXmvURyQ-FML/s320/2NWwnnm4Qn29do8pz5pxCg.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
This has been my view for the last three days. I'm here at my annual writers retreat in the beautiful Northwest.<br />
<br />
The ocean, the people, the creativity. . . they are the balm for my soul and the sugar for my muse.<br />
<br />
The great and wonderful <a href="http://www.kayleebaldwin.com/">Kaylee Baldwin</a> was the special guest. She is kind and witty and wise. She was also my roommate. And I have to tell you, she is authentic--the same person when she is "on" in front of a crowd as she is in her pajamas at midnight chatting away.<br />
<br />
<br />
Kaylee gave three presentations for our lucky group. The first was a brilliant class on editing. Seriously. I will never edit the same. Her second presentation, which she called "Writing for Such a Time as This" not only changed my writing but how I see myself. Her last presentation was on hope--which we all need--and how it begins in the darkness.<br />
<br />
She is a lovely person and a fantastic writer. You should go by her books now. Like, right now. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Kaylee-Baldwin/e/B00409JQ7K/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1539449181&sr=8-1">HERE</a>.<br />
<br />
In her presentation last night she talked about something that resonated with me, not just as a writer, but as a person.<br />
<br />
She talked about the word "real'. Especially when we attach it to our worth.<br />
<br />
She said, "I wish we'd all stop using the phrase 'real writers.' It has too much baggage. It doesn't matter if you have a dozen published novels or write poetry no one will see beyond yourself. <i>Real</i> writers write. It doesn't matter how much or when. If you write, put words on a paper or screen, you are a writer."<br />
<br />
I stopped and thought about how often I have used that phrase myself. I wanted to be a "real writer". And I never felt like I was. <br />
<br />
In my true spirit of self-analysis (flirting with a healthy dose of borderline neuroses), I tried to figure out why, why didn't I feel like a real writer and would I ever be a real writer.<br />
<br />
At this time, I had been writing blogs and books for a while. I had "proof" I was a writer, but I still didn't feel like it. Why?<br />
<br />
Kaylee's words last night echoed and confirmed my conclusion.<br />
<br />
The problem wasn't in my goal or desire of being a real writer, but it was my definition of what a real writer was.<br />
<br />
I took the beautiful word "writer", opened it, and packed it with all my own things: my interpretations, my definitions, my perceptions. My baggage.<br />
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />And that baggage changed as changed. It got heavier as I achieved more.<br />
<br />
In the beginning, I had decided being a "real writer" meant to have people read my words.<br />
<br />
When people began to read my words, the definition changed to putting my words into a book.<br />
<br />
When I put my words into a book, the meaning changed to publishing a book.<br />
<br />
When I published a book, the definition changed again to publish multiple books.<br />
<br />
And when I published multiple books, it changed again.<br />
<br />
Being a "real" writer became a goal I feared was unreachable.<br />
<br />
What I couldn't see was <i>why</i> it was unreachable. I couldn't see that <i>I</i> was one the who was pushing it back farther and farther. I was the one who kept opening the words "real writer" and packing it with more and heavier expectations.<br />
<br />
I was the antagonist in my own story.<br />
<br />
It was a shocking realization. But empowering.<br />
<br />
I put the baggage there, and I had the power to unpack the word.<br />
<br />
I pulled out my expectations--which many were false--and changed the definitions. Until all that was left were seven words: "I am a real writer because I am." No qualifiers. No goals. No benchmarks.<br />
<br />
It wasn't about what I did, but who I was.<br />
<br />
Who I am.<br />
<br />
Most of you reading this aren't writers. But many of you struggle with being a "real" something.<br />
<br />
A real:<br />
<br />
mother<br />
friend<br />
artist<br />
woman<br />
daughter of God<br />
ministering sister<br />
baker<br />
wife<br />
person<br />
________ (Insert your "real_____" here)<br />
<br />
<br />
I am guilty of having packed doubt and fear and false expectations of perfection and success into a lot of these words on a time or two or hundred. It never works out well. The only "real" thing I feel like is a failure.<br />
<br />
How sad I am what this happens.<br />
<br />
I also know it affects the people around me. And I'm pretty sure it makes Heavenly Father sad. He celebrates with us when we celebrate, and He mourns with us when we mourn. Even if it's mourning our perceived failures. But, I believe He mourns not because we've failed, but because we are causing ourselves so much pain.<br />
<br />
Women are that they might have joy. But ladies, we often don't allow us to have joy. It's almost as though when euphoria and success permeate our lives, we must irradicate them, like pest exterminators, with lethal--but almost imperceptible--spray of doubt, fear, guilt, new definitions, harder goals, and unhealthy expectations.<br />
<br />
You are real.<br />
<br />
Let me repeat. YOU ARE REAL.<br />
<br />
If you breathe, you are automatically a real person, a valid person--a daughter of God who is deserving of ALL of His love. All of it. No qualifiers.<br />
<br />
You have many roles who play. Some are similar to mine and some are different. I hope you can look at each of these roles through God's eyes, packing the word "real" with His definitions and expectations.<br />
<br />
I hope you and I can strengthen our ability to allow ourselves to feel good about who we are and what we do. Imperfection is our expected mortal state. Growth is our goal.<br />
<br />
Our job isn't to reach perfection here. If that's what we are striving for, we are missing the mark.<br />
<br />
Our job is to trade our will for His and love others. It's a simple as that.<br />
<br />
That included loving ourselves, and trading our definition of success, "real" anything, achievement, and expectations for His.<br />
<br />If we do this, I think we will find that we are more real than we ever knew. And then we need to allow ourselves to claim that. To feel joy in that. Yes- WE CAN FEEL JOY IN WHO WE ARE AND WHAT WE DO.<br />
<br />
Seeing ourselves through His perspective, coupled with our determination to learn grown and our efforts to seek His will and trade it for ours will lead to greater peace in our lives, a more accurate understanding of ourselves and God, and joy in our imperfect state.<br />
<br />
This applies to any role in our lives.<br />
<br />
For me, this weekend, it applied to me being a "real" writer.<br />
<br />
I've allowed publishers to tell me I am the next big thing and believe them.<br />
<br />
I've allowed publishers to tell me I'm gimmicky and believe them.<br />
<br />
I've allowed the success of other writers to define my success.<br />
<br />
I've allowed <i>my</i> definition of what God's expectations were for me to feed my sense of failure.<br />
<br />
I've allowed so many things to be packed into that "real" word that there was no possible way to ever be a real writer.<br />
<br />
But I am.<br />
<br />
I write words. I am a writer.<br />
<br />
And God doesn't expect me to get published. Not even once. He gave me a gift and He wants me to find joy in it. That's it.<br />
<br />
And if I take this gift of a love of words coupled with righteous effort and healthy goals and expectations, topped with gratitude, I know I can have joy in saying "I am a <i>real</i> writer" now and always.<br />
<br />
Thank you, Kaylee, for the real reminder.<br />
<br />
Now I'm going to go write some more words. Because I am a writer. :)<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8XkdLIlup270kilQg0s579eCfsJWEKW4jJu9fOavNWfENFbNktYTLHkXK_WWL3MpuilsOyYi42ZgNC9Wwx095nnp9DYNnQr9_ZdXIsVY23X8ldPKbC6ge1Sp3IFWTjOhiKXmvURyQ-FML/s1600/2NWwnnm4Qn29do8pz5pxCg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br />
<br />
<br />Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-3202775559613861302018-08-27T06:00:00.000-07:002018-08-27T20:44:22.469-07:00The power of "could" (A.K.A Stop "shoulding" all over yourself.)<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSUE8c1sJl_s4eC-MYwuQjODlXycgEhMhKZDdV95k6QhJncJTe3bLVLx41nnOe8WHj3jvDL6OXUyu8m_PDz5WCIko4cCTmM-DWHoZhifJnrO5BVCLedFWhHMLPGf8_adpmNYfTC5h_UvxP/s1600/teen+me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSUE8c1sJl_s4eC-MYwuQjODlXycgEhMhKZDdV95k6QhJncJTe3bLVLx41nnOe8WHj3jvDL6OXUyu8m_PDz5WCIko4cCTmM-DWHoZhifJnrO5BVCLedFWhHMLPGf8_adpmNYfTC5h_UvxP/s320/teen+me.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">7th grade me, at the start of my educational decline.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Sometimes I feel really smart. Other times not so much.</div>
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I didn’t graduate from high school. I skipped classes, got bad grades, and hid behind humor. I got my GED two years later. I’ve gone to bits of college here and there but no degree. I’ve had jobs here and there throughout the years but no career.<br />
<br />
For a long time I felt unsmart--stupid.</div>
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Writing has made me feel smart, made me realize I actually have something in my brain.</div>
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Most times I am okay, really. I understand that formal education doesn't translate directly to intelligence. I've met plenty of college graduations that can't think for themselves.</div>
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But, still, there are times when I feel dumb. And I HATE FEELING DUMB.</div>
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Case in point, a while ago I went on a job interview. I was nailing it. Eye contact, solid answers, confident smile. I had it in the bag.</div>
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Then, right in the middle and out of the blue, the interviewer says the worst possible thing could say, "We are going to have a math test."<br />
<br />
Huh? First of all, what's this <i>we</i>? Is he going to take it with me? And second of all, a math test? Who gives a math test in an interview?<br />
<br /></div>
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That guy does.</div>
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I felt sick. I never made it past Algebra 1 in school. Math is my kryptonite, right next to liquid eyeliner and cleaning the bathroom.</div>
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He smiles and says, “If you receive an invoice for $3248.56, which includes a tax of 0.917%, how much would the total of just the bill be?"</div>
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People. I froze.<br />
<br />
I didn’t know how to do it. </div>
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Not only was it a dumb question, but I felt like a dumb person. </div>
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Time slowed down.</div>
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I stared at the calculator in my hand, then to him, then back down to my calculator. </div>
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My mind was blank. Nothing. </div>
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I punched some random numbers hoping the answer would magically appear, but nothing came.</div>
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I felt embarrassed, ashamed. Humiliated.<br />
<br />
Stupid.</div>
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That wasn’t his intent. Numbers are a big part of the job.</div>
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Still.</div>
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I wanted to cry right there.</div>
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I really wanted to slide out of my chair and sneak out the door. Though, he may have noticed a skirt-clad woman doing the army crawl across the floor.</div>
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The was another gentleman on the interview panel. I glanced up at him, hoping he couldn't see me dying inside. </div>
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My nearly tearing up eyes rested on the calculator in my hand one last time as I prepared myself for what I'd have to say next.</div>
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I looked up at the interviewer, breathed in courage, swallowed a huge slice of humble pie, and with a wide said, “I’m sorry. I can’t recall the specific formula. But that’s okay, because this is the perfect time for me to show you how honest I am when there is something I need help with, and what a fast learner I am as well.”</div>
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He laughed and offered to write the problem out for me. Once the equation was in front of me, the old brain kicked in and I knew how to solve it.</div>
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Now, I could stop here and talk about how we can take difficult moments and make something good out of them. Or I could talk about how our "control room"--that place we go in the time between what happens to us and how we respond, that I shared in my <a href="http://www.michellewilsonwrites.com/the-beautiful-balance.html">second book.</a><br />
<br />
But I'm not. Not yet.<br />
<br />
I wasn't thinking about any of that stuff. In fact, I cried the entire way home.<br />
<br />
I’m 46. And I felt like a 15-year-old in high school again. Embarrassed. Stupid. Small.</div>
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And it stung.<br />
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The next day I received an email from the guy. He invited back for a second interview. His manager wanted to meet me.</div>
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Really?</div>
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I was stunned. I thought my embarrassingly obvious ineptitude had sealed my fate.<br />
<br />
But it didn't.<br />
<br />
I never found out why they wanted me back because I never went to the second interview. I took another job offer instead which, luckily, had me teaching special needs children--something I love doing that, luckily, doesn't require algebraic skills.<br />
<br />
That moment in the interview, for me, was a seminal moment in my life. It was a moment I faced deep shame and regret and didn't give it power over me.<br />
<br />
<i>I</i> took the power away from shame and regret.<br />
<br />
I took the power and changed it into something good.<br />
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Even if I'd never been called back for another interview, I feel like I succeeded.<br />
<br />
I still harbor some negative feelings about my educational past. I know I made mistakes. I wish I would have made better choices. But I cannot let regret keep me from progress. You know the saying, "life is full of should-of-dones", right?<br />
<br />
Well, I think I am tired of shoulding all over myself.<br />
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I loved that moment in the interview--the moment courage stepped past fear and doubt. The moment I could be confident when all the "evidence" proved otherwise. The moment <i>I</i> took control of who I was and want to be.<br />
<br />
Yes, I should have taken school seriously. I should have had more confidence in myself. I should have gone to college after high school. I should have gotten my degeree.<br />
<br />
Should.<br />
<br />
Should.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggbFYEnkXTsDqyf3ZE6pSWua0KcSb-KKx7NfvucKHXqg0i4p6x_JreJoGXGHiR87uhDCuv95aOIvaWzZ9QPK8sDgBupTTRmBzndgImuHqbDBVov8TGVCJVOHq3VjrKfXYEMPAGetc8ej16/s1600/shoulidng.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggbFYEnkXTsDqyf3ZE6pSWua0KcSb-KKx7NfvucKHXqg0i4p6x_JreJoGXGHiR87uhDCuv95aOIvaWzZ9QPK8sDgBupTTRmBzndgImuHqbDBVov8TGVCJVOHq3VjrKfXYEMPAGetc8ej16/s320/shoulidng.png" width="320" /></a>Should.<br />
<br />
See, shoulding on myself is easy.<br />
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But, I don't want to do that anymore. I need to stop shoulding all over myself. It stinks.<br />
<br />
In that moment in the interview, I had to walk past <i>should</i> and grab hold of <i>could</i>.<br />
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I want to keep doing that.<br />
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I could go back to school now and get a degree. I could study worldly topics at home. Or I could simply realize I am really smart, even if I don't.<br />
<br />
Could.<br />
<br />
Could.<br />
<br />
Could.<br />
<br />
I like could. It's a nice word, filled with possibilities.<br />
<br />
<i>Could</i>.<br />
<br />
No regret or shame.<br />
<br />
<i>Could.</i><br />
<i><br /></i> It's hope and choices and potential.<br />
<br />
I could do so many wonderful things if I leave my <i>should</i> where it belongs: in the outhouse with the rest of the crap.<br />
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And I think I will.<br />
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Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-71052082074855340332018-08-26T14:23:00.000-07:002018-08-26T14:28:22.343-07:00Lucy's hands: Why God sometimes allows us to suffer.<h6>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><i>(<a href="http://www.michellewilsonwrites.com/does-this-insecurity-make-me-look-fat.html">Excerpt from "Does This Insecurity Make Me Look Fat?"</a>)</i></span></span></h6>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNUcVlM_IVga7l8VgJ94OyQFilNGmOg_gyuf30CgjQpObd8ehIRuyJxOYzfJwJsDCG6lT759yFcQ4RFkE491gb8RU8ZrJcJOVskxvgmA9taUedNKfDP62B8rm4pXbzr5t4HOy7dTjyCOsA/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-08-26+at+2.18.03+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="370" data-original-width="534" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNUcVlM_IVga7l8VgJ94OyQFilNGmOg_gyuf30CgjQpObd8ehIRuyJxOYzfJwJsDCG6lT759yFcQ4RFkE491gb8RU8ZrJcJOVskxvgmA9taUedNKfDP62B8rm4pXbzr5t4HOy7dTjyCOsA/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-08-26+at+2.18.03+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo of Lucy’s hands courtesy of Kimberly Robinson</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Do you ever wonder <i>why</i> we must endure some of the burdens we are asked to bear?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> I used to ask, “Why?” until a young mother’s example answered the question for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">One Sunday, I was walking down the hallway to teach my class of five-year-olds when a sister in the hall stopped me. She told me that Lucy, the sweet, almost one-year-old daughter of a friend of mine, had been taken to the hospital. No one knew exactly what had happened, only that Lucy had been hurt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">By the end of our Sunday meetings, most of the congregation had been made aware of the situation. Meals were scheduled to be taken to the home. Care for Lucy’s older brother had been arranged. Prayers had already been whispered. Some tears had already been shed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Through phone calls and visits, we learned what had happened. Lucy had been playing on the floor as her family had been getting ready for church. They had just moved into a new home, and Lucy was exploring the new family room. She was just beginning to walk and would often hold on to furniture and other things to help herself stand. This particular morning, Lucy crawled over to the gas fireplace and pulled herself to a standing position, leaning her full weight on her small hands as they pressed into the hot glass. The heat was intense, but Lucy was too young to realize that the palms of her hands were burning. She simply stood there, leaning against the hot glass pane for several seconds until her mother saw her and ran across the room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Lucy’s quick-thinking parents immediately sought medical care. It was a long day of tears, doctors, praying, and waiting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">After a few days in the hospital, Lucy was able to come home. My husband and I paid the family a visit. Lucy was already in bed, and we sat with her parents, Matt and Stephanie, who were understandably exhausted. As we listened to them retell their experience, I was moved by their faith in the face of this adversity. My heart ached when they told me of the pain and suffering Lucy had experienced. I thought to myself how grateful I was that the ordeal was over—Lucy was home now, safe and warm in bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Then her mother told me about Lucy’s recovery process.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">The doctors had performed skin grafts to save her hands. Then, to protect them as they healed, her hands and arms were wrapped up to the elbows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During the healing process, the palms of Lucy’s hands would need to be stretched to prevent the skin from healing too tightly. Stephanie smiled through tired, moist eyes as she explained to my husband and me that this stretching had to be done not once or twice a day but every hour.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">“Does it hurt?” I asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">The answer was a tearful “Yes, but it’s the only way for her hands to heal correctly.” If the palms weren’t stretched, the skin would not heal with enough flexibility, and Lucy would not be able to open her hands fully as she grew older.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Oh, this poor little girl!</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> was my first thought. To endure not only such initial pain and trauma but to have to experience pain over and over again—how heartbreaking!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">The following Sunday, I saw Stephanie and Lucy in the restroom at church. It was time for the hourly stretching of Lucy’s hands. I watched as Stephanie set her smiling little girl on the counter and talk softly to her. Then she gently took Lucy’s hand. Lucy recoiled and began to whimper, knowing what was about to happen. Calmly and gently, Stephanie bent Lucy’s fingers back to stretch the healing skin. Lucy cried.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Stephanie spoke the tender words of a loving parent: “I know it hurts. I’m sorry. We are almost finished. You are doing so well. Mommy’s right here. I love you.” I turned my head and looked at the floor, feeling that I was invading a private moment between mother and daughter. I was also trying to hide my tears. I was watching a painful, yet tender exchange between child and parent. But it struck me that I was also witnessing a profound representation of the relationship between me and my heavenly Parent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">There have been many times in my life when I have struggled, when I have felt tired and stretched. My prayers in my younger days had often included this plea: “Heavenly Father, how can you let this happen to me?” It was difficult for me to understand how feeling so much pain could be for my benefit. I thought that if God loved me, He would save me from such pain. But most of the time that did not happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Little Lucy hurt herself—even though she was not fully aware of what she was doing. She had loving parents who helped to her heal. Even though it hurt, they knew that stretching her hands would lead to full use of them in the future. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Temporary pain now would lead to full recovery later.</i> Her parents knew this, so they stretched her hands for her benefit, even though it broke their hearts to do it. Out of their deep love for their daughter and their understanding of how necessary the stretching was, they not only allowed Lucy to hurt but they willingly and lovingly acted as the instigators of the pain. It took great courage and emotional strength on their part to administer this therapy, but they did what was hard <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">now</i> in order to help Lucy in the long run.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">It might have been easier for them to say, “No, we don’t want Lucy to hurt anymore. She’s been through enough. We want to protect her. We will not stretch her hands.” But they were looking at the situation through the eyes of loving parents. They were looking at and loving not just the little Lucy but also the Lucy of the future: Lucy the future piano player, Lucy the future mother, Lucy the future artist, Lucy with full use of her hands. They understood the difficult truth that Lucy would have to endure pain now to reach a greater potential later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">We are told that the purpose of our mortal existence is that we might have joy (see 2 Nephi 2:25), but our lives in mortality are also punctuated with all manner of trials and tribulations. During these difficult times, we might feel stretched; we might feel pain and even suffering. We might cry as Alma did, when he was bound, imprisoned, and beaten, “How long shall we suffer these great afflictions, O Lord?” (see Alma 14:26).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">When we feel stretched and are suffering, we might find ourselves wishing that our Heavenly Father would say, “No, I don’t want you to hurt anymore. You’ve been through enough. I want to protect you. I will not stretch you anymore.” If that wish were granted, we would momentarily be free from pain or discomfort. We might feel relief and happiness. It might seem to be an easier way to end the trial—but we would not grow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Alma had faith, even in the midst of his afflictions. His plea to know how long the suffering would last was followed by, “O Lord, give us strength according to our faith which is in Christ unto deliverance” (Alma 14:26). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alma understood that faith was imperative in the face of adversity. He knew that the Lord had a purpose and a plan for him, and he looked to God for guidance and help.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Our Father in Heaven loves us dearly and perfectly. He does not find any joy in our suffering. But He is not looking at and loving us just for the present. He is also looking at and loving our future selves. He knows that sometimes healing hurts. He knows that for us to grow, we need to be stretched. He knows that for us to become like Jesus Christ, we need to change, and sometimes change comes only through adversity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">As a loving parent himself, Alma later testified of this principle to his son. He said, “I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and all manner of afflictions; . . . and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me” (Alma 36:27).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz25ZhsC7A6NV1m1aFPOiKMt1kAT3mAKLACI3uNA9t5_ad62vOKmhK_LWDbvcjj3fed100zEi0N1BXGUWaLA1yauhat7lRipI8saQX4I4SDMeOjKib6wN_wMOgJl9iQ1rq159hO4SvORMX/s1600/Lucy+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="696" data-original-width="762" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz25ZhsC7A6NV1m1aFPOiKMt1kAT3mAKLACI3uNA9t5_ad62vOKmhK_LWDbvcjj3fed100zEi0N1BXGUWaLA1yauhat7lRipI8saQX4I4SDMeOjKib6wN_wMOgJl9iQ1rq159hO4SvORMX/s400/Lucy+2.png" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">What a powerful example Lucy’s family was, to me and to the entire congregation, of the influence of the love of good parents—and our Heavenly Parent. It reminds me there is purpose to my suffering. It also helps me to understand that my Father in Heaven allows me to suffer because He loves me—and that it is not an easy thing for Him to allow. It gives me hope that I can be healed, that pain is only temporary. And it helps me know that my loving Heavenly Father is there for me throughout the trial <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> the healing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I am reminded of the gentle words that Lucy heard from her loving mother during the painful stretching: “I know it hurts. I’m sorry. We are almost finished. You are doing so well. Mommy’s right here. I love you. You will be okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Now, when I am hurting, feeling stretched, and growing, I imagine those words as an earthly echo of my Heavenly Father’s loving message to me: “I know it hurts. I’m sorry. We are almost finished. You are doing so well. I am right here, and I love you. You will be okay.” We know we are loved not because our life is easy but because He is there to help us when it is hard.<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">That’s the power of my favorite word: perspective.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Perspective helps us find solace in the truth that God will not give us more that we can handle with His help. Perspective helps us understand that even though we see only a piece of the big picture we can still have faith in the One who created it. Perspective assures us that we are not alone in our trials and enables us to find the purpose in our lives and in our pain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0ZwTuBsnCrvDMuNvAp3hOB5cSmpfzadx7ZZMucp9-bq09WVJ5sHgFtbDem86IBO21goFdvTOKGs8r77OZzKnwqO5uUlD6jKICdrWLzr5H5dN_5knJLCL3VMQjzCf2Wx7pqGvkFygM2BkG/s1600/Lucy+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="278" data-original-width="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0ZwTuBsnCrvDMuNvAp3hOB5cSmpfzadx7ZZMucp9-bq09WVJ5sHgFtbDem86IBO21goFdvTOKGs8r77OZzKnwqO5uUlD6jKICdrWLzr5H5dN_5knJLCL3VMQjzCf2Wx7pqGvkFygM2BkG/s1600/Lucy+3.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3BEPb3j7vbPZpH19cUy6Hitr4L9n9st87UfAYwbPzAagJ2MRxaCWhvMmq6yeKnFvaDJ5bS1KwSVcWbigujCl1RNAfi3xbbwEf8DwgAuC5JJfqmAXu3Aw4HHUi40eVM0Xp0yMcrprXS7vY/s1600/Lucy+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="286" data-original-width="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3BEPb3j7vbPZpH19cUy6Hitr4L9n9st87UfAYwbPzAagJ2MRxaCWhvMmq6yeKnFvaDJ5bS1KwSVcWbigujCl1RNAfi3xbbwEf8DwgAuC5JJfqmAXu3Aw4HHUi40eVM0Xp0yMcrprXS7vY/s1600/Lucy+4.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKg_KkGdWBF7XWJDcR-_E8uLMjrHoE1EOYWtA460AnWiWDwZrcTnFBaVXB46rZMvU9Ee34JCSSfkQ72V_FrzoJZ-IGuWFje2lCz4FmIQv1QO3o4BVYaE_keoBxjtfGlTemamAw3ktQ6JL7/s1600/Lucy+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="287" data-original-width="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKg_KkGdWBF7XWJDcR-_E8uLMjrHoE1EOYWtA460AnWiWDwZrcTnFBaVXB46rZMvU9Ee34JCSSfkQ72V_FrzoJZ-IGuWFje2lCz4FmIQv1QO3o4BVYaE_keoBxjtfGlTemamAw3ktQ6JL7/s1600/Lucy+5.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><o:p> </o:p></span><i style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">(<a href="http://www.michellewilsonwrites.com/does-this-insecurity-make-me-look-fat.html">Excerpt from "Does This Insecurity Make Me Look Fat?"</a>)</i></div>
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mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; color:#111111; background:white; font-weight:bold;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} @page WordSection1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.WordSection1 {page:WordSection1;} --> </style>Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6440236062761077267.post-32467810854803893332018-08-12T14:08:00.000-07:002018-08-12T14:08:10.887-07:00Yoda lied. But not really.Yoda lied.<br />
<br />
My father is going to disown me for saying that.<br />
<br />
He loves Yoda and thinks he's brilliant. Probably because he is. He is a master of emotion and force, knowledge and will. Aside from the Clone Wars where he, uncharacteristically and in poor CGI form, fought from a place of rage, he was typically spot on with the nuggets of wisdom he handed out.<br />
<br />
I've heard one of his most famous quotes tossed around for years:"Do or do not. There is no try."<br />
<br />
It's usually accompanied by a motivational speech about never giving up, putting forth your full effort, or succeeding at all cost. Here's a hard thing. Now do it. Don't <i>try</i>. Don't fail. Just do it.<br />
<br />
That's a lot of pressure.<br />
<br />
I really don't like these interpretations of this quote. I get the whole, "do or do not". Indecisiveness is not a strength. Do it or don't. Hot or cold. Make up your mind. God doesn't like it either. "So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold or hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth" (Revelation 3:16)<br />
<br />
So yeah, I get the "do or do not part."<br />
<br />
The part that I cringe at is the "there is no try." What the wha?<br />
<br />
Of course there is a try.<br />
<br />
<b>MY ENTIRE LIFE IS ONE BIG TRY.</b><br />
<br />
Even when I do or do not, my TRY matters.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiS_3cU7-McE8ysuGMFumgETVD3Qv4EcNepq7DCONCUj6NOtrk-WEHq_ovA84ET1by4jOSWKqg97t7QLFTeCuOwv_hjIPr_Uh8uKOXtjrlUvMWB-YIS9DFGdcDRQXPl8KFvSCpq94WY1zj/s1600/Follow+your+dreams.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiS_3cU7-McE8ysuGMFumgETVD3Qv4EcNepq7DCONCUj6NOtrk-WEHq_ovA84ET1by4jOSWKqg97t7QLFTeCuOwv_hjIPr_Uh8uKOXtjrlUvMWB-YIS9DFGdcDRQXPl8KFvSCpq94WY1zj/s200/Follow+your+dreams.png" width="200" /></a></div>
Don't believe me? Take Elder Holland's word for it:<br />
<br />
"With the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the strength of heaven to help us, we <i>can</i> improve, <b>and the great thing about the gospel is we get credit for </b><i style="font-weight: bold;">trying</i>, even if we don't always succeed."<br />
<br />
Oh, sweet relief. Because I don't always succeed or <i>do</i>. In fact, if I'm being honest, I unsucceed more than I succeed. (Failure is such a negative word. I've decided to nix it from my vocabulary. That and kale.)<br />
<br />
<br />
I understand that Yoda most likely meant that you should go into a scenario with confidence, with the <i>intent</i> of succeeding. That it was probably more about the mindset rather than the outcome. I'm sure he was trying to teach whiny Luke that our attitude can determine our altitude (that sounds like an Elder Uchtdorf analogy...)<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0_F-CBHpWbgTcDGqQeh_pDvWELK0Zo_UqeAI4doXcgBI3Ldj0hwr235CEI0us932EF402LW2SR15-3kMzBs3__vqIdjm1MQQM7WVBv_eXppSpfjTRJV_rpdfoHOCQOI03EZlhDzhjCLeH/s1600/Try+or+try+not..png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0_F-CBHpWbgTcDGqQeh_pDvWELK0Zo_UqeAI4doXcgBI3Ldj0hwr235CEI0us932EF402LW2SR15-3kMzBs3__vqIdjm1MQQM7WVBv_eXppSpfjTRJV_rpdfoHOCQOI03EZlhDzhjCLeH/s200/Try+or+try+not..png" width="200" /></a><br />
<br />
Still. I wish Yoda would have had said something different Why couldn't he have said, "Try or try not. You, it's up to."<br />
<br />
That's what it boils down to, for me. Am I willing to try? And try? And try?<br />
<br />
Because <i>IF</i> I am, <i>then</i> it counts.<br />
<br />
I want my <i>tries</i> to count.<br />
<br />
<br />
Perhaps Yoda wasn't lying, but was simply misunderstood. I think a new meme should clear things up. Because if it's in a meme, then it's true.<br />
<br />
I love that I get credit for trying.<br />
<br />
Yoda and Elder Holland are on same page as the Amulek. (It's a good page to be on.) When teaching the Zoramites, a rebellious and prideful bunch, he said, "I would that ye would come forth and not harden your hearts any longer. . . therefore, if ye will repent and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you."<br />
<br />
There are so many things I love about this verse. I love that Amulek let's them know that<br />
<br />
1- It's their responsibility. It's up to them to come forth and harden their hearts.<br />
<br />
2- Just by trying, IMMEDIATELY the Atonements begins to work in their lives.<br />
<br />
He didn't say, "after three weeks of perfect performance, you'll be blessed." No, he said <i><b>immediately</b></i>.<br />
<br />
The Zoramites got credit for simply <i>trying</i> to have a softer heart and repent allows the great plan of redemption to affect them.<br />
<br />
And so do we.<br />
<br />
The theory that we get credit for trying (and do I really need to specify that it is trying to do GOOD things with GOOD and HONEST intent?) is pleasing to me.<br />
<br />
If perfections was achieved by perfect performance, I'd be in petrouble.<br />
<br />
I'm the first to admit that I am faaaaaaaaaaar from perfect and never will be perfect, not in this life. I will never <i>do</i> that. If my only choice was to "do" perfect I would epically fail. But, I don't have to give up and "do not" perfect. I simply have to try.<br />
<br />
And not even try to be perfect. According to Amulek, I simply have to try to have a soft heart and repent. <i>That's</i> what trying is.<br />
<br />
<i>Trying</i> is the direction we face, a step we take, a choice of light over darkness, and the getting up after we fall down.<br />
<br />
<i>Trying</i> is hope and kindness and love.<br />
<br />
<i>Trying</i> is choosing to grow rather than wilt.<br />
<br />
<i>Trying</i> is choosing is casting your eyes on Him.<br />
<br />
<i>Trying</i> is our perfect desire in imperfect action.<br />
<br />
<i>Trying</i> is the reflection of the contents of our hear.<br />
<br />
<i>Trying</i> is the way we get to and become like God.<br />
<br />
Trying is everything.<br />
<br />
I love that we can try and try again. And then try and try again.<br />
<br />
As long as I try to keep on trying, I'm going to make it, if we want to.<br />
<br />
So, Yoda, I get what you're sayin. I'm gonna do. I won't do not. But, in the mean time, there have been and will be about a million tries to get me there.<br />
<br />
And every single one of them counts.Michelle Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16890410293036794998noreply@blogger.com0